Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
“Number two: we all know how awesome I am”—again a wave of cheers and boos goes through the crowd, cheers louder this time, however—“but we all know that soccer is a team sport, so I guess I can’t be awesome without you all. So thank you.” Then, “For making me so awesome.”
Laughter and claps reverberate throughout the room.
“And since you guys make me so awesome and because let’s just say I couldn’t be here without you and your hard work, I have an announcement to make in front of all of you.”
He pauses and I can see the crowd is curious.
Despite myself, I’m curious too.
And then his eyes swing over to me as he says, “Well, more like a question to ask.”
I forget to breathe.
For several moments, all I do is stare back at him.
Until he moves away from the podium and steps down from the stage, starting to head toward me. And then I can’t stop breathing. I can’t stop the air rushing in and out of my lungs. I can’t stop myself from choking.
Because somehow, I know. I know what he’s going to ask.
And I think the rest of the room knows as well.
Tempest’s chanting, “Oh my God, oh my God. Oh my fucking God.”
Meadow’s whispering, “Is he doing it? Is he really going to do it?”
Wyn replies back to Meadow, “I think he is. I so totally think he’s going to do it.”
I push my chair back. I have to.
I have to get out of here.
But I can’t.
Because just as I’m about to stand up, he reaches where I’m sitting. And looking into my eyes, he comes down to his knee. He picks up one of my hands that I had curled into a fist on my thighs. He opens the fingers one by one and rests it on his open palm.
“I guess by now everyone in this room knows how I feel about you. How ever since I met you, I’m a changed man. They know how crazy I am about you. So I guess I want to make it official. I want to ask you if you, Isadora Holmes, would make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”
I think the table across the room can hear my breaths.
I think they can also hear how fast my heart is beating.
And if they can hear it, I’m sure Shepard can hear it too. I’m sure he can see how badly I’m shaking. How my mouth is parted and trembling, and how wide my eyes are. How cold my hands are and again it’s not the kind of cold I like.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to say.
I can’t say what I want to say. I can’t say no. Not here, not now.
Not in front of all these people who are watching us.
Not even if we were alone.
So I say nothing at all.
For probably too long because he whispers, only for my ears, “Do you trust me to fix it? Do you trust me to give you what you want?”
I nod, without hesitation.
“So then say yes.”
His eyes have something in them I can’t read. It’s heavy and grave, and it begs me to do what he wants me to do. So I do it.
“Yes.”
And the room breaks out in deafening applause. It breaks out in cheers and laughter and smiles and enthusiasm. Even through that, even through the chaos in the room as people rush in to congratulate us, when Shepard pulls me to his feet and hugs me tightly, whispering the same mantra to trust him, my eyes find two things.
First, Jupiter.
She’s standing a little to my left and her eyes are wide.
Shocked.
In that moment, I know. That all my suspicions about her liking Shepard were true. And God, he just broke her heart.
No, not he. Me.
I just broke her heart.
But that’s not the only thing I did. Because a moment after Jupiter, I find him.
He is where he always is.
In a corner, hidden away from everyone.
I knew where he was the moment I arrived at the party, and I knew he was watching me—this time I knew for sure—even though I didn’t look at him once.
I look at him now, though.
I look at him over his twin brother’s shoulder and find him staring at the sparkling diamond on my finger. My engagement ring. And I realize that along with breaking Jupiter’s heart, I killed his.
Because this is what death looks like.
It looks like him in this moment.
Chapter 3
“That’s a nice ring.”
I jump at the voice coming from beside me.
“Mom,” I murmur, going alert.
I’ve been standing at the bar for the past hour as people come to congratulate Shepard and me. For the most part, I’ve been able to respond to their enthusiasm appropriately. I’ve been able to match them smile for smile and laugh for laugh. But the more people come and visit, the more afraid I become. The more it starts to set in.