Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 35498 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35498 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Or maybe he could fuck this up in a spectacular, stammering fashion and ruin everything.
“Stop.” Oliver held up his hand. “Don’t strain yourself, Matthew. I get it now. When you seemed so persistent, I thought—” He sighed in disappointment, shaking his head. “This isn’t something I’m interested in pursuing. I think it would be less awkward for both of us if we end the night now with no harm done.”
If you don’t play your cards right…
Matthew covered Oliver’s hands with his own, holding him in place before he could push away from the table. “All I’m asking for is five minutes. Can you give me that, Legs? I admit I’m new to this, but I don’t think you get it at all.”
There was a bitter edge to his beautiful voice. “I don’t get it? I know the vibe I give off can be confusing. But despite the way I look, I’m not an idiot or an easy mark. I’m also not desperate.”
The way he looked? What the hell was he talking about? “I don’t think you’re—”
“You aren’t the first straight guy to want to experiment with me. Though you might be the hottest. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to play therapist and reassure you that coming like a geyser while you suck a man off doesn’t really make you gay. Because it kind of does and lying is exhausting. What I’m saying is, if you don’t know what you want by now, I’m not the one who has your answers.”
Embarrassment climbed up his neck and warmed his cheeks, but refused to look away. “You really don’t know my family that well do you? I thought they were famous in this town.”
Oliver tugged on his hands impatiently. “I don’t live in a cave, Matthew. Owen Finn’s wedding made the front page. Being related to gay people doesn’t make this okay, you know that, right?”
He had to make him listen. “Owen is the perfect example. Everyone told me they were sure he was straight for years. He thought he was too, and he had a reputation that more than backed that up. Most of the men in my family didn’t know they were bi or gay or whatever they ended up calling themselves until they got with the right person. Or people, in Rory’s case. It sounds hard to believe, I know. I guess you could say we’re all bloody late bloomers.”
Oliver’s hands slid out from under his and he crossed his arms defensively. But he didn’t get up to leave.
“Is that what you’re saying? That I’m the right person? After half a cup of sugary coffee and some eye fucking, you just decide you like men? Simple as that?”
Add in a week of sleepless nights and constant fantasies starring the man across from him, and that was exactly what he was saying.
“I don’t have all the answers here, but I’m comfortable enough with who I am to be adaptable about what I am. And I’m not confused about what I want to do with you. To you. I don’t have any problem with the idea of sucking you off, Oliver. Just thinking about it has me so hard I couldn’t stand up and follow you out of here without limping. But I’ll do it, if that would make you take me seriously.”
Oliver studied the table as if he could see the cockstand Matthew was currently hiding beneath it.
“I’m saying that I’ve been sitting here, watching you eat half the menu and already scrambling to think of ways to see you again. For more coffee, dinner, or whatever you feel comfortable with. I want to know you. All those things you don’t think I want to hear. All the drama of your big, crazy family. How you started teaching dance. All of it. And to be blunt, wanting that is as new for me as wanting to fuck a man.”
“Getting to know people is new to you?” Oliver scoffed, but there was a rekindling of interest in his eyes that gave Matthew hope.
“I get to know people all the time. I just don’t date them.” The disbelief in his eyes was something he’d seen before. “It’s true. I’m one of those gits. I admit it.”
“Admit it in more detail please. I need specifics.”
Matthew swallowed nervously. This was not how he’d expected this conversation to go. “Okay, we’re just putting it all out there then?”
“It might be for the best.”
He took a bracing breath. “I’ve had sex with people. Women. Done scenes at the kink club or spent a few hours in a hotel with them before we went our separate ways. But I’ve never actually dated anyone. Called, picked them up, sent them flowers, that sort of thing. I wasn’t all that big on swapping life stories either. The women usually felt the same. I never lied or… God, I sound like a worthless gobshite, don’t I?”