Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90736 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Harlow: Because I lose patience with my dad, and all he wants is attention. OMG today when you first texted, he was “meeting” this woman who he met online, who said she was from Chicago Florida Detroit, but she had a weird accent and was in Thailand.
Andy: Stop it. No.
Harlow: Yes. I walked in on her talking—he wanted me to say hello to “Shirley”.
Andy: What did you do??
Harlow: I hung up on her fake ass!!!! Slammed the laptop shut and scared the shit out of my dad. Then I had to explain scammers, and I felt like I was kicking a puppy, it was horrible!!!!! That’s why I feel like an asshole, he just wants to meet someone.
Andy: Don’t we all?
Harlow: I don’t know. Do we??
Andy: Most days, yeah.
Harlow: Why not All days?
Andy: It’s complicated.
Harlow: Oh lord #ThingsEmotionallyUnavailableGuysSay
Andy: Wait. I have to sound that out, give me a second. Is that one word or like five?
Harlow: LOL
Andy: All I’m saying is it’s hard to find someone decent, that’s all. I’ve dated some doozies . . . I’m sure you have too.
Harlow: Of course I have. Which is the answer to the question “why are you single?”
Andy: That question is the Worst.
Harlow: It is by far the rudest thing a person can ask and, honey, I’ve had it asked one too many times.
Andy: Not many women have asked me that.
Harlow: Lucky you. Men ask us all the time. It’s literally the top five dating app questions of all time—statistically speaking.
Andy: Spoken like a woman who’s going to have her own dating app. Blows my fucking mind, actually. So cool. I’m proud of you!
Harlow: Awww Thank You. That means a lot, I’ve been busting my ass to get it finished. Apps seem simple but they’re not.
Andy: Is it weird if I said I feel like I may be too private to be on an app?
Harlow: No it’s not weird—a lot of people worry they’ll see people they went to high school with, or bump into someone at the grocery store they see on the app that they weren’t interested in. You’re not the only one who isn’t into being on one.
Andy: I think for me it’s less that and more . . . I feel like Everyone is going to know. I’d rather meet someone organically. The way my parents met—at a bar LOL
Harlow: Do you go to bars very often?
Andy: Is this your way of asking me if I’m a big drinker?
Harlow: Yes. No. Are you a big drinker? LOL
Andy: No definitely not—but I will have a drink if I’m out. One or two, tops. You?
Harlow: Same. Also my nose gets red when I’ve had alcohol, which I hate. Ew.
Andy: I’m sure it’s adorable.
Harlow: I doubt that . . .
Andy: So what about you—before you met me were you planning on setting up a dating profile on Kissmet?
Harlow: Before I met you I might have been toying with the idea, once it goes live. For scientific purposes. Ha ha.
Andy: Ahh.
Harlow: I feel like it’s a bad look to be developing a dating app and then refusing to be on one to meet someone. Know what I mean?
Andy: Yeah I get it. It’s sort of ironic?
Harlow: 100% ironic. There is nothing to be afraid of!
Andy: Have you just not been interested in dating? Now that we’re on the subject, not that I’m trying to pry.
Harlow: Oh please—admit it, you’re nosy . . .
Andy: Fine. I’m nosy. We did just spend the week together.
Harlow: It was 24 hours, tops, LOL
Andy: Way to be literal . . .
Harlow: I can’t help myself.
Andy: Do you have any more questions to ask me, or are you done with our little game?
Harlow: I can’t think of anything right now, so if you have something burning in your brain, have at it.
Andy: Have at it? That sounds like a loaded statement.
Harlow: It’s not. It’s really really Not a loaded statement.
Andy: All right give me a sec, let me google a good question.
Harlow: Waiting . . .
Harlow: Still waiting . . .
Andy: Here is one: Can I see the last selfie you took?
Harlow: Dammit. That’s a question And an activity.
Andy: How is that an activity?
Harlow: Because you’re making me do something. But fine, you’ve already seen me (naked) so it’s not like showing you an ugly picture of myself is going to matter.
Andy: I didn’t actually see you naked—it was mostly dark, remember???
Harlow: But you could Feel my nakedness.
Andy: LOL fair enough. Where’s that selfie?
Harlow: Ugh. Please hold while I scroll.
Harlow: Attachment: 1 image
Andy: Dang, Harlow—you’re fucking cute!
Harlow: Cute. Kiss of death.
Andy: Sorry. I meant “dang, Harlow, you look like I want to fuck you.” Is that better??
Harlow: Much better and way more complimentary than Cute.
Andy: Why do women have such a problem with that word? Would you rather be a sex kitten walking around like you’re trying to get whistled at?