Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
Icy blue eyes pinned Cooper. “You made her feel small.”
“I know.” There was nothing to do but take whatever Ian was going to give him. He’d been wrong, and they were still paying for it. “And I continued to do it because I was too scared to talk to her about what happened. Not just when she was kidnapped, but what my words to her that night did to her. Now she doesn’t want to.”
“Oh, I assure you somewhere deep down she wants to, but you might not like what she has to say,” Ian countered.
Her father didn’t understand how far he would go for her. “I would take it. You need to know if I didn’t think I’m the best man for her, I would walk away in a heartbeat.”
“I’m worried you’re the only man for her, and if she can’t have you, she’ll be alone forever.” Ian’s expression softened slightly.
Cooper touched his chest, placing his hand over his heart. “I’m right here. I’ve been very clear about wanting to try. I haven’t looked at another woman since I joined this team. I’ve supported her work both with the Agency and in the lifestyle. Then she comes to me tonight and wants what she calls ‘stress relief,’ and I was willing to be that, too, because I know it’s bullshit. She needs another name for it. She can’t love me because I hurt her and it’s scary, so I let her hide a little while longer.”
“See, this is why I can’t hate you,” Ian admitted. “You really do know her.”
Tonight made him question what he thought he knew. “Not everything. I don’t know what was going through her head tonight. But then she didn’t want to talk to me about what happened in Toronto. I had to read the reports to know the basics, and I’m sure she hid the worst of it.”
“Her heart stopped.”
Those words felt like a land mine he’d stepped on. Cooper felt sick. He’d known it was bad. Sometimes he thought he was still stuck in that moment when Ben Parker carried her out of a burning house. “That wasn’t in the report.”
“It wasn’t in the one the team got, but I assure you, it was in the one the Agency has,” Ian explained. “Why do you think I’m benching her when she wants so fucking badly to get back into the field and prove to herself nothing changed? She didn’t even want to see a cardiologist to make sure her heart’s okay. I had to force her. She’s pissed at me, and when she’s mad at me, it’s one less person she’s willing to talk to. I tried to get her to see Kai when we got back, but she insisted she was fine. I don’t know whether to be relieved or worried that she’s agreed to see Dr. Gallagher.”
Cooper knew that particular truth. “She thinks if she convinces the doctor she’s solid, she’ll back off. We all know she’s here to evaluate us. Probably to finish the job Zach didn’t manage to do.” If they shut down the team, it wasn’t like Kala would come home and start a job at MT. They would move her to another team, another handler, and he would be right back in the Navy flying helos.
Or he would cash out and start his life back here. Either way, he wouldn’t be with her.
“I only want her to talk to someone,” Big Tag admitted.
“I wish she would talk to me. She does about some things.” She talked to him about how afraid she was to lose Lou when she and TJ got together. How it felt like everyone was going to leave her behind as they started their lives. She’d been halfway through a bottle of Cab that night, and they’d sat on the roof of The Hideout, looking out over the Dallas skyline. She’d let him hold her hand, and for once he felt like he was giving her something. “Should I walk away? Would she be more open to a relationship with the men she sees if I wasn’t in the picture?”
“The men she sees?” Big Tag’s expression went blank. “Have you met these men?”
“No. She’s very private about her sex life.”
Ian nodded. “Yes, she is. And isn’t that odd since no one else is. Her sisters can’t fucking stop talking about their sex lives. Lou and TJ just do it wherever they happen to be standing. I do not know how she works when he’s on top of her all the time. Kala is surrounded by people who are perfectly comfortable talking about sex, and do you know how many boyfriends she’s brought home?”
He was sure it was at least one or two. “She had a couple in college, from what I understand.”
“Did she?” Ian asked. “Or did she tell us that? I don’t know because I never met the fuckers, and when I followed them around for a couple of days, I realized they were just men in her classes. She had no interaction with them outside of class, so unless they were fucking in the closet…”