Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
I know it’s not the money. If I were broke and seven times more troubled, these kind, amazing people would still be here, offering this to me. I know they’re doing it for Aspen because they love her, and obviously, they’re doing it for Jace, but it’s already more than I deserve.
My throat is so thick that, for a moment, I can’t say anything. Yes, mine.
“I’m…if Aspen has told you anything at all about me—” Duh, she’s told them everything. Weren’t you listening just now? “She probably understated my not-so-fine points. She has a tendency to see past that.”
“I don’t think so. She’s quite a realist, in my experience. She doesn’t walk around with rose-colored googly eyes on. If she chooses to see the good in a person, it’s because it’s there.”
“I think she might be straining her eyes if she sees good in me,” I mutter.
“Hmm.” Her dad’s foot jiggles again, and his sandal nearly slides off. But the big leather strap across the top keeps it on. “I suppose we’ll see.”
“What if she moves because she has some wild notion that she wants to be close to me?” What if she doesn’t, and I can’t stand it? What the hell is happening to me that I can’t imagine being alone anymore? That I can’t imagine Aspen not being close by, even just as a friend.
Fuck, I don’t want her to be just a friend.
I would take her as a friend and count myself so fucking lucky and then some, but is that what I truly want? No, it isn’t. It isn’t, and I can admit that to myself. If I couldn’t admit it, I wouldn’t have come here with her. I would have sent her on her way, given her the annulment, and even made a big production of doing postcards because I said I would.
“Then that’s her choice. I know she’ll stay in touch as best she can. Her going off to explore different options and be who she was always meant to be doesn’t mean she doesn’t love us.” His eyes narrow, taking me in. “And I know she’ll be safe if she does move out because you would never let anything happen to her.”
Fucking right, I wouldn’t. Thinking about that even being a possibility and Aspen coming to some kind of harm or pain makes me want to die. It hurts so badly that I can’t even think about it. I just can’t go there. I will do everything in my power to keep her safe. I will do everything in my power to keep from hurting her, even if it means that I stop pushing her away and learn how to not be an asshole.
“We’d like it if both of you would stay here for a while, or at least as long as you can before you’re off on other adventures, but we hope that even if you do go off, singly or together, you’ll check in with us. You’re welcome to call or text, but know that you’re always welcome in this house.”
I don’t ask what happens if Aspen and I don’t work out. That might happen, but I know she’ll never cut me out of her life, even if it does. She’s so tough and smart and emotionally capable that she’ll teach me how to get there with her. I might be the opposite and be quite…emotionally fucking stunted in comparison. I know I won’t ever have half her internal strength, but I do know she’s made me a promise. She promised me a family, and she’d never go back on it, no matter what happened between us.
I don’t want to give her a reason to go back on it.
“Thank you, sir.” I shouldn’t have tacked on the sir part. I feel ridiculous doing it, but maybe it’s right. Either way, her dad doesn’t look annoyed. He just looks as peaceful as Aspen often does. He looks like he always has a good joke up his sleeve, like Jace. Also, he looks like he’ll be tough when he has to be, kind the rest of the time, and good to people even if he has to be firm. Above all, he seems like a fair man. A truly good man. Truly good people are hard to come by.
I’m far from truly good.
“I’ve never had a family before,” I squeeze out. “I don’t know if I’ll get it right.”
“There’s no right or wrong. Just be who you are,” Aspen’s dad says.
I wonder if Aspen has mentioned the dirt thing. Maybe. Who knows what she’s told her parents? When her dad said everything, he probably did know everything. She maybe even told her parents that we’re romantically involved. I think she did keep the married part to herself, at least for now. Maybe that will just be between us since we plan to undo it. I said before that the brick factory might get out of control if certain things are mentioned, and I stick by that.