Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 94653 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94653 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
His arms hang limply at his sides instead of banding around me, holding me close. “If I hadn’t talked Miles into going to that party, it wouldn’t have happened. He would have had a chance to live out his life. We both know that he would have done amazing things. He was the best person I knew.”
Hot tears prick my eyes as I nod. Miles was handsome, smart, and athletic. Ever since he was a kid, he had a natural charisma that people gravitated to. If you knew him, you couldn’t help but love him.
“It wasn’t just you. I wanted to go to that party as well. He did it for both of us. So stop blaming yourself.”
“But I’m the one who was driving. I’m the one who lost control of the car. It should have been me. If life were fair, it would have been me.”
I shake my head, refusing to let him heap all the blame onto himself. “It was an accident. That’s it.” A tear trails down my cheek as I admit, “To hear you talk like that breaks my heart more than it already is because I can’t imagine a world where you don’t exist.”
The fierceness of my words is what ends up jackhammering through the haze of pain that cocoons him and his arms snake out, wrapping around me before dragging me against the steely strength of his chest. He squeezes me so tight that it feels like I’m being crushed alive, but I don’t care. In this moment, it’s what we both need.
Miles is no longer here, but we are.
For the first time in years, I feel like I’m alive and I don’t want to squander a single moment of it because my brother wouldn’t want that for me. Or Wolf. And he certainly wouldn’t want our parents to continue living in the shadow of his demise. Eaten up by grief and bitterness. He would be furious that they blame Wolf for his death and that the grudge they’ve held against him, and his family has, in the end, destroyed ours. He’d be so disappointed in all of us.
Wolf sucks in a harsh breath before slowly releasing it back into the atmosphere. “The last thing I want to do is hurt your family more than I already have.”
More wetness falls from my eyes because I realize what he’s going to say before the words escape from his lips.
“There’s no way your parents will ever accept me in your life.”
His grip tightens as if he’s afraid I’ll be ripped away at any moment.
Instead of trying to ease his concerns, I stare into the surrounding darkness and remain silent because deep down, I know he’s right.
My parents will never approve of him.
Or us.
Chapter 36
Fallyn
My palm flutters to my lower abdomen as if that alone will settle the nerves that eat away at my insides.
It does nothing.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror, taking in my outfit—soft gray sweater, black skirt, and matching black boots. My appearance is as somber as my current mood.
Instead of getting together and celebrating my brother’s life, the three of us gather and grieve every year over the unfairness of it being cut short and how Miles never had a chance to fulfill his potential. I always come away feeling depressed.
If the previous years are any indication, it’ll take a few weeks before I can lay all the heartache to rest. Up until now, I never considered how unhealthy the tradition we’ve created is. Viola has cautiously tried to broach the subject, but I’ve always shut her down. It’s only now that I’ve spent more time with Wolf that I see it. I can’t get sucked back into that bottomless pit of despair. Each year it becomes more difficult to fight my way back out again.
The three of us haven’t moved on the way we should have.
And my parents are the reason for it. They’re so comfortable cocooned in their grief.
Barely living their own lives.
The only thing that keeps them going is their feud with the Westerville family. Without that, what would they have?
Who would they be?
I have no idea.
It’s a disturbing realization.
There’s a soft knock on the bedroom door before Viola peeks her head inside. “Are you ready?”
I suck in a deep breath before forcing it back out again. “Yeah.”
Pushing the door wider, she wanders further inside the space before coming to stand next to me. Her arms slip around my body as she tugs me close.
“I’m sorry, Fallyn. I still miss him like crazy.”
My shoulders wilt. “Me, too.” I don’t think that will ever change.
Instead of giving into the comfort, I break away and snag my purse off the dresser. The sooner I get this over with, the quicker I can put it behind me and move on. I wince because there will never be a time when I’m able to put Miles behind me. He’ll always be beside me, cheering me on.