Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 134830 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 674(@200wpm)___ 539(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134830 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 674(@200wpm)___ 539(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
I look Dani in the eye, wanting her to hear that as much as she heard all the other shit I just spewed. “That’s not who I am, not who I’ve been for a long fucking time, even if they still think I am. I cut the apron strings, the purse strings, and all the ties my dad held over me and walked away. I rebuilt myself, brick by brick, from the ground up. Hell, from beneath the dirt, digging holes ten feet down every day and earning my name for the first time in my life. This is who I am now, and I won’t ever be more than this because I’m fucking proud of where I am, even if I’m ashamed of what I did to hit rock bottom first.”
I can see her thinking through everything I’ve said, weighing it for truth and making a decision, not on dinner, but on me. She clears her throat and says, “I won’t judge you by your lowest low because I also don’t think you’ve hit your highest high yet.” She pins me with a look, making sure her words land, but the fact that she’s still sitting here with me and not looking at me with disgust is surprising to me.
I would run from me. She should run from me. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve anyone.
“I know we joked about it, but I like you, more than I’ve liked anyone for a long time, and I like me when I’m with you. I’m deeper, more real, because you let me be more than the butt of a joke.” I meet her eyes, which are dark with thoughts I can’t read. “But I’m scared to death I’m gonna fuck up what we have, what we’re developing, by not being enough… because I’ve never been enough for anyone. And by telling you the one thing about myself that most people have found value in, I’m hoping you will still choose me… not because of the money, but in spite of it because I will never touch a single penny of it and you need to understand that. If I’m not enough to be your first choice as just a dirty-mouthed, hard-working hole digger who spends every day covered in dirt, chlorine, and dog hair, please tell me now before I fall for you even more.”
She leans back the way I am, stretching her legs out with her arms behind her, and doesn’t meet my eyes as she speaks. “My family has worried about money every day of their lives. We’ve had to skip one bill to pay another, gone without, and taken charity that broke my dad’s spirit. I grew up knowing that I would have to drive myself to the ground to get by. I was working in elementary school—doing homework at the restaurant, learning to count by closing the till every day, and scrubbing the floors with a mop taller than I was. By high school, I was working full-time and not making a dime because Mama and Papa couldn’t afford to pay me. Every cent was for the family. Even now, my brother and I do everything we can for them—whether it’s paying bills or buying them food. So yeah, money has value. Dollars and cents are as real to me as this ground beneath us because they mean stability.”
My head falls. I can’t relate to a life like what Dani is describing, and I wish things hadn’t been that hard for her, but neither of us can go back and change the past now.
“But,” she says, and I turn my head her way, a tiny glimmer of hope trying to shine but I squash it out, not wanting to risk getting hurt any more. She keeps going, “But I’ve seen how hard you work, your pride in what you’ve earned, and who you are, and that is more important than your bank balance. Or your parents, which I don’t give a shit about, and fuck all those girls who made you feel like that was all you had to offer. You, Kyle Harrington, the annoying asshole who’s putting in a big, dirty hole at my arch enemy’s house and has a dog with zero manners, and somehow makes me mad and turned-on all at the same time with the things that come out of your mouth, are what has kept me up nights, made me climb on your bike and into your truck and onto your dick, and has had me losing my shit in pubic and in private. You have value, you are worth my time, attention, and affection, and you are not my first choice.” She waits for me to look her fully in the eye. “You’re my only choice. I’ve avoided every single man who’s tried to lock me down too, afraid to end up like Mama. You’re the only one who’s put up with my bullshit long enough to get through my bitchiness, figure out what I need, and then offer it up on a silver platter.”