Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 111610 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 558(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111610 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 558(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
“By hurting yourself?”
“By being tougher than some fucking bag!” Lucas snaps, his eyes shooting fire directly at me as if I’m the one who made him feel weak. I’ve done no such thing, but I’m a target that he trusts to not back down from his worst. “Real men don’t wear some pussy pads on their hands when they fight.”
Humming thoughtfully, I counter, “I’m betting there’s a few who’d disagree with you. Ali wore gloves. Conor McGregor wears gloves. They’re real men, whatever that means. So what’s this really about, Lucas?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I reply, sitting forward, “what’s making you worry about your tough guy quotient?”
It could be any number of things because guys worry about their toughness for a lot of reasons—being challenged, feeling out of control, facing something difficult, or even as a way to prove themselves.
Lucas opens his mouth, then closes it, not ready to share his thoughts yet. Facing a problem head on is something Lucas has avoided at all costs in the past. When he was struggling in school, his first response was to hit the weights harder than the books, and though he increased his bench press PR by thirty pounds, he failed a class he needed for his major. When his family was hurting financially, he complained about how his scholarship funds weren’t enough to live on instead of getting a job to help support his younger siblings.
He always tends to run opposite of his problems when they arise.
But he’s been working on it . . . and finally, he sighs. “Nora.”
I lean back, taking the pressure off and giving him space now that he’s talking. “Nora. What happened with her?”
Nora is a girl he’s been interested in for a while, and we’ve talked about her a few times. But the way he says her name this time tells me that things are different now.
“Look, man, I tried to do what you said,” Lucas says, frustrated and obviously hurt. “I tried talking to her, being respectful. I even fucking listened as she droned on and on and on about Taylor Swift’s new album, like I give a shit. And then, when I asked her out, you know what she said?”
I already know what she said, given his outburst, so I stay silent and raise my brows, encouraging him to go on.
“Blake Christian,” Lucas spits. “She told me she’s dating the star defensive end for the football team. The dude who’s fucked his way through half the chicks on campus but keeps getting chances with the next one because they all think they’ll be the one to magically change him like poof.” He snaps his fingers.
“Or they just like him?” I suggest, and Lucas’s eyes pop wide open in anger. But I keep going, pushing the idea to prove a point. “Or they want a fuckboy, or he’s actually a nice guy?”
Lucas scowls at me, snarling, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“The point is, you don’t know why Nora wants to go out with Blake, but she must have her reasons. Reasons she doesn’t have to share with you or anyone else. However . . .” I hold my hands up, telling him to let me finish. “Did she lead you on? Or was there nothing between you two yet?”
I know the answer because he’s been talking about her for a while, but he hasn’t ‘sealed the deal’, as he called it last week.
“Well, I was texting her ‘good morning, beautiful’ and good night texts. Telling her how great she is, talking about all the boring stuff she’s into, and when she was studying, I took her pizza from her favorite place and sat with her for dinner, kinda like a date. And I saw her out with friends one night, so I bought them a round of drinks, which was expensive as fuck, and we danced.” He huffs, letting his head fall back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. “All the shit you told me to do.”
“Okay, and what was her response to all that? Did she text you back, talk with you, seem happy to see you?”
I’m tip-toeing a bit with Lucas because truthfully, he’s not a nice guy. He just thinks he is, and that’s what I’m working to help him realize. His attention is transactional in his head, even if he hasn’t identified that he connects actions with emotions that way yet.
On a deep level he’s not aware of, he thinks ‘I was nice’ and ‘I bought you drinks’ translates to ‘you’ll date me’ and ‘you’ll want to have sex with me’.
“I don’t know, man. She was fucking happy to let me buy her drinks, that’s for sure. I bet Blake’s not doing shit like that for her. But I’m sure she’s sucking his dick like a hungry whore.”