Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
My mind is whirling and spinning like a tornado is tearing through it. Grace… has been trying… to get me and Riley together?
“Wait, you’re saying that you’ve been plotting and scheming to…” Pieces click together, the picture becoming clear. “Get me and Riley together? Why?” I don’t mean to sound so stupid, and I could certainly list out dozens of reasons I would want to be with Riley, but none of them seem like things Grace would even notice, much less value. I mean, does Grace give a shit that Riley’s little fang tooth is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I feel like a god every time I make her smile big enough to see it, or that her bracelets drive me crazy, or that her optimism in the face of the trauma of her life is inspiring? Probably not.
“Because she’s my chance at a real family!”
Grace’s outburst stops everything—time, my heart, the whole damn world.
“We are a real family,” I tell her, meaning it. We might not be the picture-perfect postcard version, but we’ve been a family of two for a long time and are doing okay for ourselves. I’ve made sure of it, mostly by always putting Grace first.
Grace sags, realizing that she’s hurt my feelings. She sighs dramatically, sounding more life-weary than her twelve years should allow for. “I know, Dad. And I’m happy with you, us against the world like you always say. But Riley’s our chance to be a regular family. I love Mom, but she’s been gone for a long time. And you smile with Riley. You’re happier now… well… usually,” she grumbles. “Riley’s my shot at having a mom again, like the other kids. She’s who I want for that. I’ve been trying to make her my mom all along, and now you’ve ruined everything.”
“Grace,” I say softly, gathering her into my arms as the tears stream down her face, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you felt like you were missing a mother figure in your life. I can understand why you’d want Riley to fill that role. She’s amazing, she’s magic, she’s great.” I can see the hope starting to fill her eyes when she looks up at me. “But she also put you in danger, and that’s unacceptable. I would never do anything to risk you. You’re everything to me.”
“She didn’t put me in danger. That guy did, and that’s not Riley’s fault.” I tilt my head, ready to argue with her, but doesn’t give me a chance. “Dad, bad things just happen sometimes, and they put us on a new and different path than we thought we’d be on, and that’s okay. Riley taught me that.”
She sounds so mature, so well-adjusted, so… like Riley. They have both been through hellish experiences at a young age, and while Grace had the blessing of being surrounded by a supportive family who loved her and Riley went into the foster care system, they seem to have found a kindred spirit in one another.
Could my daughter be right? All signs have historically pointed to yes, but this is different. This is… my life, and her life, and Riley’s too.
“Maybe this is the path we’re supposed to be on now,” I suggest, playing devil’s advocate against Grace’s argument. “What if we were supposed to meet, and learn, and love, and then let each other go?” Even as I say it, it doesn’t feel right. Actually, it feels so very, very wrong.
“What if you weren’t?” she questions back, and that sounds good to me. “What if you’re meant to be together?”
Am I an easy sell? Fuck yes, I am, mostly because she’s telling me the things I want to hear. That I can have Riley while still prioritizing her, and that she’s not only okay with that, but it’s also what she wants too.
“Oh, fuck!” I hiss, standing to my full height. “What have I done?”
“Fudged everything up,” Grace answers with a heavy dose of ‘duh’ in her conclusion. “But you can fix it. You always fix things. You’re my dad, and that’s what dads do.”
She has the utmost faith in me. I wish I had some in myself because I have severely fucked up and there’s no easy way to fix it.
I look around at my siblings, praying that one of them might have some idea how in the world to undo a mistake of this caliber, but they’re all looking back at me with sadness in their eyes. They don’t have the same idolized version of me that Grace does.
“She loves you, but you lost her when you made her feel she wasn’t worth it. She doesn’t think you’re capable of the love she deserves, and honestly, I’m scared she might be right,” Kayla tells me, not holding back at all. She’s not the lovey-dovey, sweet and syrupy kind of woman, and in her eyes, a fuck-up of this severity is a flat-out deal breaker. She would have zero patience if some guy did this to her.