Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
You could hear a pin drop in the room. The silence of their agreement is nearly deafening.
“Is he still in love with Michelle?” Janey asks delicately.
I shake my head. “Not in the way you mean. He will always love her. He should. But that’s not what holds him back. He’s scared. Of being vulnerable, of experiencing that loss again, and the surefire way to never lose is to never care. Grace is it for him, and that’s okay. I just thought maybe…”
I trail off, not needing to say what I thought because we all know. I thought we were building something greater… a family, a home, a future. And if there was more time, or we’d been together longer before this happened, it might be different. But it’s not.
It is what it is.
“I’m going to kill him,” Kayla announces.
Janey shakes her head. “Don’t say it out loud. Cole says that negates my plausible deniability.”
They’re trying to lighten the mood, but there’s no use. We all know this is it.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, or where I’m going to go, but I’ll let you know, okay?” I tell Janey.
“The hell ‘you’ll let me know’,” she balks, mocking me. “Cameron might’ve fired you, but I didn’t and I expect you to be at my house as soon as you’re ready. Emmett can’t wait to play with his Aunt Riley and show you his new trick. He switched from tummy to sitting all on his own yesterday,” she informs me proudly.
I give her a sad smile. It’s a kind offer, generous even, and maybe I’ll take her up on it for a little bit. But we both know I’ll move on. There’s nothing holding me here now, so it’s time to go.
Again.
CAMERON
The After
I don’t know how long I rage for. Long enough that my whole body hurts, physically and emotionally. But eventually, my walls go back up and I shut down.
Blank and detached from everything, I clean up, making sure there’s no evidence of the thrown mug or tea on the wall. I fix the couch, right the pictures on the wall, and scrub the coffee table Riley already cleaned even though I don’t know why it bothered her in the first place.
And then I go to Cole’s.
It’s late and Grace is already asleep, so they try to get me to leave her for the night, but I can’t. Silently, I refuse and sit on their couch. If Grace stays, I stay. Janey excuses herself, and then it’s me and Cole. He stares at me, waiting for me to tell him something, anything. I stare at him for the same reason.
He fucking knew. Just like Riley.
He knew this threat was out there, and of all people, I would’ve trusted him to tell me something like this. He’s the threat assessor, yet he let me put my daughter, the most precious thing I have, in danger.
“Fuck you,” I snarl at him.
“Where’s Riley?” Her name on his lips is a bullet to my shattered soul and only serves to infuriate me again.
“You’re more worried about her than me and Grace?” I accuse coldly.
“Yes.” His reply is even colder. “You’re fine. Grace is fine.” He waves his hand toward their hallway of bedrooms where Grace is sleeping, emphasizing the point. “Riley…” He lets that trail off, and my heart clenches in my chest. But I can’t let it.
I made a promise nine years ago to Michelle at her funeral that I would take care of Grace for us both and do what she would’ve done. And that’s been my driving force ever since. I got side-tracked, distracted from that goal by the idea that maybe there could be more, but I won’t make that mistake again.
“Gone,” I tell Cole, answering his earlier question. “I don’t know where.”
“What the fuck have you done?” he hisses accusingly, rising to his feet.
I stare at him, shocked by his assumption that I’m the one who’s done anything wrong after all that’s happened tonight. I’m the only one in the right here, wronged by my brother, by some random guy, and mostly, by the woman I loved.
Love. Present tense.
My heart corrects my mind, and it hurts to recognize that it’s true. Even after everything, I do still love Riley. But love isn’t enough. This isn’t some easy love story. It’s life, and it’s complicated and sometimes ugly and hard.
I stare at Cole, eyes cold and teeth clenched, and grit out, “I did what I had to do.”
He shakes his head. “You are a fucking disaster, Cameron.”
He strides from the room, his nose buried in his phone, ignoring me. He’s probably texting Riley. I hope he’s checking on her. Someone should, and I can’t do it. I’m too weak, and I have to be strong for Grace. Because he’s right—I am a disaster, inside and out, but I’m all Grace has.