Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
If there’s one thing I have never been, it’s stupid. I’m analytical to a fault, and the bottom line is, even if Cole, Janey, and Grace have all decided Riley is the best thing since sliced bread and Betty White, who was actually born before pre-sliced bread became a genius marketing gimmick, that doesn’t make it so.
“I like her, Dad,” Grace says, flashing Riley a thumbs-up like she’s got this handled. This meaning me.
“What?” Have I entered a bizarro world? My brother, who famously hates people—all people—is giving me shit over hiring this woman. And my daughter, who just yesterday was telling me that she doesn’t need a nanny, is now apparently okay with one. As long as it’s Riley. The only reaction I’m not surprised by is Janey’s. She likes everyone, so there’d be no reason for this to be any different. “What is happening here?” I ask no one in particular, though I look from Cole to Grace like they might have an answer for me. I even glance at Riley like she might know, but she’s studiously staring at the ceiling like it’s suddenly become extraordinarily interesting, though she has a smile teasing at the edges of her lips like this is thoroughly amusing to her.
“You’re interviewing a nanny. One who hasn’t tried to figure out my star sign or ground me for not being seen and not heard, so she can’t be all that bad,” Grace grumbles.
The reminder about two of her previous nannies gives me pause. They’d come from the agency I’ve worked with for years, had excellent references, and interviewed well, so I’d been decisive and proactive the way I always am and had hired them on the spot. Unfortunately, they weren’t the best choice in the long run or else I wouldn’t be in this situation now.
I get up, perching on the arm of the couch to get closer to eye level with my daughter, and cross my arms over my chest. “You like her?” I repeat, wanting to be certain.
“’Her’ is right here,” Riley reminds me, holding her hand up. There’s an obvious tinkle of laughter in her voice like she’s fighting off a good case of the giggles at the showdown playing out between my daughter and me.
As if I forgot that we’re doing this in front of her. Yeah, my expectation of an easy evening all but ended with the pink-haired woman. Thanks for that, universe.
Grace nods like a bobblehead and grins, already scenting her win in the air.
“I guess, with her experience, she might have some pretty good insights into the psyche of the animal better known as a ‘teen girl’.” I boop Grace on the nose, and she clacks her teeth, acting like she’s going to bite my finger. Still not sure of this course of action, I say, “Fine. Let’s see if we can work something out.” I give Riley a look of warning because I know that I just put myself at considerable disadvantage in our discussion of her role as nanny for our family, and I’m hoping she’s either not adept enough to take advantage of that or is too principled to do so.
“Thanks, Dad!” Grace shouts, jumping up to wrap her arms around me. “I promise to do my homework every day without arguing and keep my room clean.”
I push Grace back and bend down, getting nearly nose to nose with her. “Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?” I demand fake-harshly. “I know an alien body snatcher when I see one.” I turn her head sideways, peering into her ear like I can see her brain. “Definitely not my Gracie girl.”
She laughs, then sobers and makes her eyes go vacant. Talking robotically, she intones, “I. Am. Your. Daughter. Ha. Ha. Ha.”
I crack at that, giving her one of my rare smiles. She’s earned it because she can be a really funny kid when she’s not acting like a spoiled twenty-five-year-old.
“Hey, can you show me that thing Peanut Butter’s doing out back?” Cole suddenly asks Janey, who looks utterly baffled at his question—probably because the dog isn’t doing anything other than lying in the yard because fuck knows he’s too stupid to play fetch. But understanding dawns as Cole physically escorts her and Grace outside, leaving Riley and me in the living room.
Yeah, Janey’s the one who’s not smooth, Brother.
Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh heavily. Today was already exhausting, and now I’m stuck with this shitshow—meaning my family, not Riley, who somehow seems completely unbothered by all this. When I return my attention to her, she’s even smiling, though I have no idea why.
“So, this is… us,” I say sardonically, gesturing toward the back door where everyone disappeared, leaving me to close this deal.