Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 33557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Not just because the job demands it. After all these years work is still the only thing that keeps my mind occupied. I work out still, perhaps more than I used to. I like to keep my schedule completely filled so I have no free time. I exercise daily, which has resulted in me having a lean and trim figure. I get hit on and asked out by women all the time. To this day I reject them. There is only one woman for me.
I'm in a bad mood kind of. Today is my one day off. I don't really want to take it but I have to. Oh well, at least I can catch up on other things besides office work. I do menial things like tidy up around the house and wash clothes. Eventually I remember I need to eat. My refrigerator is looking pretty bare. I drive to the store and wander the aisles with my basket. I don't have a list. I just grab items randomly when I remember that I like to eat them. I can't wait to get back home. I miss the solitude of my house. People kind of bug me now.
I wander the aisle looking for bread. Someone else is there as well. Our baskets nearly collide. We both stop short and glance up. Our eyes meet, my jaw drops. Her eyes widen with shock. We both stand there without moving. I can't believe my eyes, it's Susana. I stare at her as long as possible. My eyes take in every aspect of her appearance. Even after all this time shes still so beautiful and sexy. It's like the years didn't age her a bit. How is that possible. She is dressed in a snug blouse and a long skirt. I can still see those voluptuous curves. Her hair is elegantly pulled back.
Her face is made up, but not heavily. I can't tell whether she is shocked or scared to see me. We stand there in a stalemate, unable to look away from each other. "Mommy!" A child's voice cries out. This breaks the spell and gets my attention. I'm aware now that there is a child with her. He tugs on her skirt. With a sudden ache, I realize this child just called Susana his mommy. I study them both and see the resemblance. I'm shocked that she has a child. I watch as she leans down to talk to him.
Of course why wouldn't she. I mean it has been years so it is only natural that she would have moved on with her life. That does include getting married and having babies. I'm surprised and heartbroken by that. Honestly, what could I have expected her to do though. We could never exist so she had to do what is natural. I should just be happy for her. She looks amazing and she has a family now. Obviously she is doing well for herself. I watch her and the child interacting. I want to be happy for her but I just cant. When I look at them all I feel is jealousy and sadness. The child talks her ear off. I watch as Susana puts a few items in her basket. She appears to be studying a list. I'm frozen, I want to keep watching her, to stand here and memorize every unchanged angle of her.
At the same time I want to flee. My heart aches so. The girl of my dreams has married and moved on. I don't know what to do. I hate my days off. I should have stayed home or tried to go into the office. Anything has to be better than this. She should be my wife and that should be my child. She glances my way again and I erupt into violent chills. Oh Susana, I miss you so much. I wish I could talk to her and tell her that. What are the odds of us meeting by accident like this? Is this some sort of cruel joke that the world is throwing at me? Are you teasing me by showing me the only woman I'll ever love and can never have? This world is so cruel.
Chapter 17 Mikah
We continue to stand there in the aisle of the grocery store. A few people pass us by in the background, but we are alone for the most part. I notice how Susana's reaction changes the longer that we stand there. My facial expressions must not be conveying the emotions I'm feeling correctly. She notices my look and grips the little boy's hand tightly. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her or give her the wrong impression. This is the first time I have seen her. I don't want things to go badly again between us. We have had enough of that already. Besides, this is a miracle, us running into each other like this. I can't ruin it.