Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 33557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Chapter 8 - Susana
Hours later I wake up feeling refreshed and well rested. Well, for the most part. After I get comfortable I realize with a shy smile that there are some parts of me that are sore. It feels like the good kind of sore. The kind that comes from satisfaction and pleasure. I yawn and stretch as gently as I can so I don't make myself ache further. I look over at the other side of bed. I realize with a startle that its empty. I turn my head from side to side, looking around. I'm completely alone here. Feeling a jolt of fear I get out of bed. My bedroom door is open. My heart pounds and there is tension building in my stomach.
With heavy footsteps I drag my naked body to the doorway. I look out into the kitchen and living room. With a pang in my chest I realize that he is gone. Mikah left me without even a goodbye. I can't believe he is really gone. My panic builds rapidly. I find myself starting to hyperventilate. I turn and walk slowly back to bed, like an injured person. After several minutes I'm able to calm myself down. I'm still sad though. I feel kind of used. He just up and left in the middle of the night. He couldn't even write a note.
I curl up into a ball in the middle of my bed. I pull my blankets up over my shoulders. I start to cry because I realize that now I've really done it. How could I have been so stupid and foolish? I've thrown away my entire relationship with Mikah and for what? One night of pleasure? One night to enact my wildest fantasies? I really must be the world's biggest idiot. How could I have succumbed to such temptation? I really thought I was doing well with my workouts and my masturbation. I should have just stuck with that.
I can only imagine what Mikah must be thinking. I bet he is regretting what we did now. He is probably disgusted with me for growing up and acted like a slut. I shouldn't have kissed him back. It's my fault. I was the one who initiated this and let him think it was ok. He probably thinks I'll spread my legs open for anyone including my own 'uncle.' I know he isn't going to want to see me anymore after this. I can't be alone with this. The enormity of what I have done is too much to bear. I need someone to talk to me, to comfort me and calm me down.
I reach for the phone and hit the speed dial. I still lay in a ball as I wait for Aunt Edith to answer. She does. "Susana? What happened? Are you all right?" She asks. Her voice is filled with concern. When I hear the maternal tone in her voice I lose it. I break down into loud gasping sobs on the phone. "I'm on my way over " edith says after a few seconds. We both hang up the phone. All I can do is cry. I don't have the mental capacity or strength for anything else.
It takes Aunt Edith a while to get across town. I hear her knock on the front door. I'm barely able to dress myself before letting her in. She looks at me, taking in my tear stricken face. We sit on the couch together. I hang my head in shame. Aunt Edith is largely quiet as she listens to me. My voice trembles with tears. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. I should have told you sooner about my long time crush on 'uncle Mikah.' I've tried for years to forget about him and repress these thoughts and desires. I've gone on numerous dates all to try and help with that. They have all ended in failure." I explain with a sob.
Aunt Edith is still silent. "Something did happen between us tonight. I'm sorry for that too." I whisper. As her silence grows I feel even more shameful. I start to shrink into myself. I wonder if it would have been better not to say anything. Tears continue to fall from my eyes. I hang my head and stare down at my blurry feet. Suddenly I feel a gentle and hesitant hug from behind.
I turn and see Aunt Edith hugging me. I lean back into her arms. "Shhhhhh!" She shushes me softly. She rocks me a little in an attempt to soothe me like when I was young. I sob a few more times, they dissolve into sniffles. I rest my head on her shoulder as she hugs me. She seems to be struggling to put her thoughts into words. "Susana, I'm going to be honest. I don't approve of this situation. The difference between you both is just too big. However, I'll do my best to try to understand if he is the one who really makes you happy. That is what matters to me." She replies. I hear the concern and wisdom in her voice. That is not what I was expecting her to say. I'm beyond touched by her response. How could I deserve such love and kindness from her? I definitely haven't done anything to earn this kind of treatment.