Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
“Do you want a ride?” Landon says.
“No,” I reply.
Mom frowns at me. I hurry down the hallway, not wanting to get into any mess about this. I don’t know how to process it, end of story. I don’t want to find out. I can’t even imagine being with a man, really being with him.
Yet, haven’t I been dreaming of my knight in shining armor ever since he left us? Haven’t I wanted him to find me, to save me again?
I turn the shower up hot, scalding away any feeling from last night. Or that’s what I tell myself, but I can’t shake the sensation that the hot water is trying to simulate his touch. I force myself to wash quickly. The urge to touch myself is way too real.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LANDON
“Thanks again for this,” Vivian says over the coffee table.
I do my best to smile in a civilized way. The memory of what I did with her daughter last night is almost like a physical entity in the room, on the couch she’s sitting on. Sure, the sheets are in the laundry. I made sure of that.
“That’s okay.”
“Does Lily seem like she’s acting strange to you?”
I barely know her, I almost say, but lying to Lily’s mother feels wrong. Instead, I take a sip of black coffee and lean forward. “It might have something to do with me.”
Vivian tilts her head. She always had empathetic eyes. That was one thing that made Russel’s treatment of her so rough. Rough Russel, she started calling him toward the end, a way to diminish him in her eyes. He was like a giant before that.
“With you, Landon?”
I swallow. “Last night, your daughter and I … kissed.” I can’t include all of it.
Vivian flinches, her personality shifting in real time. “Excuse me?”
I can’t back down now. “She’s a very beautiful woman, and she’s so interesting, so intelligent—”
“I told you how Russ love-bombed me,” she cuts in, her tone suddenly distant. It’s how she sounded when she was coming down off the drugs. She said the only way she could save herself was to switch off her feelings like an electrical device.
“That’s not what this is,” I retort.
“Why, then?”
“I told you. She’s beautiful, intelligent, exquisite …”
Vivian waves a hand, leaning down and speaking in a hiss. “Why not somebody your age?”
“This isn’t about age,” I say. “It’s about the fact I haven’t dated in a damn long time. I never thought I’d want to. Then I saw Lily, and something changed. She changed me. I can’t explain it.”
“Love at first sight, was it?” Vivian says as she empties the remaining breakfast into the paper bags. When I move to help her, she snaps, “I can do it, thank you!”
“I’m not like Russel,” I tell her.
“That’s what I thought,” she snaps. “When you came to us, saved us … Do you know what Lily used to call you? Her knight in shining armor. For a good while after the case, she would wait up for you, convinced you were going to visit her. You’re a big reason she pursued social work.”
I swallow. “I was trying to do the right thing.”
“You did the right thing … then, but you’re not doing the right thing now. Do you seriously think she can accurately judge a relationship with you, Landon? Seriously? How could she? You’ve been her hero for too long.”
I lean back, running my hand through my hair. A logical man would leave here. A logical man would accept this, but with the end so damn close, I can’t. Believe it or not, she feels like a lifeline.
“She can make her own decisions, can’t she, Vivian? If she can do her job, surely she can think for herself.”
“She’s twenty-one. She’s never even had a boyfriend. She stands no chance against you.”
“Again, I’m not Russel. I’m not some seasoned playboy. I don’t mess with women’s heads like he did. I don’t make a sport of it.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“The truth about what?” We turn to find Lily standing in a crumpled white shirt, her hair still wet, her pants hanging loosely with her belt undone. She fastens it as she says, “You guys didn’t realize how loud you were being, did you? What are you talking about?”
“He told me about your little romantic scene last night,” Vivian says.
Lily gasps and looks at me with an expression of complete betrayal. It makes me feel so callous. She thinks Vivian is talking about everything: the intimacy, the steaminess.
“I told her about our kiss,” I quickly correct so she understands.
“Oh …” She relaxes a tiny bit. “Right, and what do you think, Mom?” Lily does an excellent job hiding how anxious this conversation makes her, but I can see the nerves.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’ve always told you never to get involved with an older man. They have too much of an advantage over you. They can twist your head any way they want, and you, Lily, with him? He was your knight in shi—”