Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 44167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 147(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 147(@300wpm)
But here?
I should stop him – I should pull away. This is a public place, no matter how private the booth may be. Someone could walk in at any time. But would they? Is it even likely? Am I holding back over nothing?
And I know I’m not even really holding back. I can’t get enough of his kiss, stirring my blood and making my heart beat so fast it feels like I’ve run a marathon. It feels like my nerves are on fire where he touches me, where I touch him, lifting my hands to rest on his shoulders for support. This is so wild – but is anyone even going to catch us?
If they do, will I care?
All I know right now is how much I want him. Everything else is disappearing so far into the distance I can no longer see it at all. Every worry I had earlier – what even were they? He’s driving me crazy and I can’t think anymore. I can only feel. And what I feel is very, very good. So good I want more and more and more, all the time, and I don’t want him to ever stop.
I have a flash of boldness; I don’t know where it comes from, but something in me stirs to life and tells me to take what I want. I think of the men and women dancing in the room next door. Whenever I’ve been to a bar or a party or even prom, there were always people who seemed confident enough to dance together without even thinking about it.
I’ve never been like that. I’ve always sat on the sidelines with my friends, giggling and wishing but never quite being bold enough to say what I want. To go up to someone and ask them to dance – or even to just start dancing and not care what might happen.
But today I feel bold. Maybe it’s the music, the atmosphere. Maybe it’s being here in this private space. Maybe it’s Finn himself, pushing me on and making me want to test my boundaries.
Whatever it is, I reach for his hand, the one that isn’t on my leg, and I lift it into the air. I guide it toward me and I press it against my breast until the palm of his hand is fully in contact with me, and then I let go, and I feel him begin to move on his own.
His other hand comes up to join the first, cupping my breasts and beginning to gently squeeze them. It feels heady and wild – the first time I’ve ever had a man touch me like that, somewhere so intimate – and I lose myself in the kiss once again as he touches me. Out of nowhere, through the closed lids of my eyes, I think I see a flash of light, I think the music gets louder; but when I open my eyes to process what I sensed, I see nothing, only the door closed like it was before. I close my eyes again and sink into this feeling, my breath coming hot and heavy between our kisses, my heart racing so fast.
Finn’s hands move to the top of my dress and his fingers begin to slip behind the fabric, making it give way. I tense up momentarily, but only for a moment. I want this. I want his hands on my bare skin more than I would have thought it possible.
But at that moment he stops, and pulls back from the kiss, and rests his forehead against mine, panting just as hard as I am.
“Why did you stop?” I ask, and he looks at me with a flash of doubt that almost shakes me to my core because now I’m terrified that he’s changed his mind.
Chapter Twenty
Finn
“I don’t know,” I tell her, trying to regain my balance. Just one quick move and my hands will be inside her dress, on her bare skin, and I know I’ll be at the point of no return. I’m not sure how I managed to stop myself to put the brakes on, but somehow I did it. Just one more moment and I’ll lose my resolve. I have to snap out of it, make sure that I follow through on my good intentions. “No, I do know. I… wait.”
I reluctantly sit back from her, taking my hands away from where they were resting at the neckline of her dress, dropping them down to the sides of her arms. She looks at me flushed and out of breath, her hair mussed slightly from my hands, and with a drop of something like fear in her eyes. Fear? Why? Would she think…
Is she afraid that I’ll go too far?
Now at this distance, and with that thought in my head, I can muster my resolve again. I blink once to try and clear my head before I speak. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask.