Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“She trusts you,” Maddie said softly. “Saffie trusts you. For some reason she is comfortable in your presence. I am not sure you know how rare that is for her. Around men, she is still extremely fragile. But you… she relaxes when you are close. She breathes more easily.” My heart started fucking pounding against my rib cage. I wanted to tell them to screw school. I had more important things to do, club suspension or not. But every time I went to open my mouth, I saw Saffie’s fucking face. Her perfect fucking face. And that tiny smile she gave me and only fucking me. The one that was barely there, but shined like the fucking sun to me.
“Please, Asher,” Maddie pleaded. Her expression changed, and she sighed sadly. “She reminds me of myself.” Maddie smiled, but it was anything but happy. It was fucking tragic. All these cult survivors’ lives were tragic. “When I left The Order I was so lost. The things that had been done to us there…” My hands curled into fists at my side and the anger that now lived in my dark heart began to spike. I thought about any fucker hurting Madds and seethed. I loved Madds. She was practically my mama. But then thinking of Saffie… thinking of any fucker touching her, fucking her against her will… I became killing mad. She was too timid, too fucking small and perfect… “I did not want to leave my room when I came to the Hangmen. It took me a long time to finally find the courage.” Maddie’s head bowed. “It took your brother needing me to change things for me. His desperation made me find the courage to open the door to my room and step outside, where I believed it was unsafe. Saffie, bless her soul, has somehow found that courage on her own. She has found the strength to try and live a life beyond her hurtful past. Something is propelling her to try. Whatever that something is, I am not sure you understand the gravity of this moment.”
Maddie stood before me. I looked down at her now. Maddie was tiny. “You share that in common, Asher. Your pasts…” I thought of my old man locking me in that cellar. Of my mama, hanging on the tree outside, choosing death instead of the sadistic fucker who abused her. Instead of her kid. My stomach clenched so fucking tight that I had to hold my breath to contain the sinking feeling that image of my mama always conjured.
The world was fucked. Everything in it was shit.
“You take your truck,” AK instructed, from behind us. “I’ll take Saff in. Me, Phebe and Saff have to meet with the principal and shit.” I took a deep breath, feeling the alcohol from last night sitting like lead in my stomach. “You and Zane bring her back in your truck. Yeah?”
I wanted to say no. I wanted to crawl back into bed, to sleep and forget the world. But Saffie’s face wouldn’t leave my brain. Her soft voice with that fucking accent whispered in my ears to help her, to protect her. I wanted to fight the voice and tell AK and Maddie that all she wasn’t my responsibility. But I eventually nodded. What the fuck else was I meant to do? Styx had banned me from the club. Smiler had disappeared. Zane would be at school. And this was about Saffie. Fucking Sapphira Deyes. The bitch who constantly invaded my dreams. The one I thought of more than not.
“Watch out for her, yeah?” AK said, then went to leave the room. Before he left, he turned back and met my eyes. “Thanks, kid,” he said, and I felt something deep down, something like fucking calmness trying to push against my permanent anger. But the darkness was too strong, and whatever calm feeling trying to break through quickly melted into nothing.
AK left. Maddie took my hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, Asher. This will mean so much to AK and Phebe.” She sighed. “It will mean the world to Sapphira. She may not tell you that, but it does not make it any less true. She will appreciate it more than you will ever know.”
I nodded once, my stomach tightening at that potential truth. “I need to shower.”
Maddie left me alone and I closed my eyes. I breathed slowly until the rising anger was tamed. Saffie… fucking Saffie at school. I couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t imagine seeing her walking down the hall, all that blond hair and perfect eyes and lips. I knew if anyone even looked at her wrong, I’d end up getting expelled. No one fucked with her. Just the thought of it had my hands curled into fists and my body braced to tear assholes apart.