Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I knew he was holding back information, but I didn’t bother asking him, not in front of her, though I, too, was very relieved by what he had to say. I didn’t realize how much I myself had been stressing over the thought of people being taken while I was performing until I felt my body at ease.
There was so much on our plate the last few weeks that this had taken kind of a backseat, I hate to say, but now it was front and center and there was no way to ignore my part in it or the guilt that brings. Me personally, I would like to out everyone involved, though most of them were either dead or in jail.
Matt, I still had no idea where he was, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Lyon might, or at the very least, his daughter does. It’s all I’ve been able to think about these last few days while getting ready for the show. The fact that all of this happened right under my nose, and I had no clue.
I’ve had moments of feeling selfish, especially where Elena was concerned, but on some level, this whole trafficking situation kind of opened my eyes even more to the fact that I was a selfish prick all these years, even long before I almost fucked my life away for good with that marriage.
Now that the dust had settled somewhat, I had nothing but time to think, and I can’t say that I liked myself very much, not the person I had become. But in thinking that way, it led me to want to be a better man for her and for me. I want to be someone she can be proud of, someone she looks forward to spending the rest of her life with.
I haven’t touched a drug in months now and am all the better for it, and knowing how against it she just makes me work harder not to slide back into that way of life again. Don’t get me wrong, some days I look back on my life and the way I used to be and wonder what the hell I was thinking.
All of my memories before the wedding fiasco are of her and me together, but now I see those times in a different light, and it scares me half to death how close I came to losing her for good. I wish like hell that I could erase those years without her and make them disappear for her as well, but that’s not going to happen, so I can only promise to do better going forward.
Now that I had worked on my personal life and was somewhat on firmer ground, this was the last thing I had to deal with from my past. The last thing I needed to get right before I could truly move on.
Elena had mentioned us doing something for the victims that had already been found along with the money I had already offered, she wanted to do more. I knew she would that this was just the sort of thing she likes to sink her teeth into, but I also saw the toll it was having on her.
So, the fact that Lyon came all the way here like this, days before the concert was supposed to go on, raised my opinion of him even higher. It’s like he knew what we were thinking and feeling without being told, and I wish I’d have met him long before my life went to shit.
Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that his kid was the one who had set this whole thing in motion from beginning to end. It was she and her friends who had sent the Saunders kid to me in the first place, all because she liked Elena and wanted to see us back together. I still have yet to think of a gift good enough to thank her.
“Like I said, I just wanted to put your minds at ease, and I hope this helps. While you’re on stage, I don’t want you to act any differently than you’re accustomed to. The night is about the two of you and your fans; leave the worrying to me and my guys, okay.”
“Yeah, but how? It’s all I think about, all I’ve been able to think about for the last few days.” I reached over and grabbed her nape gently to offer comfort. He wouldn’t understand because he doesn’t know her that well, but I know my girl and I know that no amount of words were going to stop her from worrying. That’s why Janie had done it. Her last fuck you, I guess. At least, I hope it’s the last one.
“I understand, that’s why I’m here. I know telling you not to worry isn’t going to stop you from doing just that. I just want to put your mind at ease with the fact that for at least the nights you’re on stage, nothing is going to happen. The truth is, you’re just a cover.”