Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
He didn’t care, of course, and didn’t think he needed to explain himself, but I reminded him that it was for the best for both of us and unlike in the past, where he’d brushed off my words, they seemed to work this time.
He still insists, though, that this time around, with the new team the Sanders group had hired, he’s going to live his life on his terms and keep them strictly for his professional image, leaving them out of his private business, unlike the other which had played a part in our demise thanks to Mary and Scott’s influence.
Even though we hadn’t discussed the timing or what we planned to do about telling everyone about the engagement, I knew he would be hurt if I took the ring off, especially without explaining things to him first. I’m sure he already knows what will happen once it’s discovered and doesn’t seem too bothered. That means he’s ready that his mind is made up, and I also know what that means.
It’s a given that one of the things that had not changed was his stubbornness, and I was in no more of a hurry to deal with that now than I was in the past. Who knows what he’d do if… No, I shouldn’t think that way. Neither of us is the same as we once were. Life and circumstances had seen to that.
It was obvious that he’d gone to great lengths to grow out of his shitty behavior from the past, and I should give him props for that, but the Ryder I knew would certainly do something nutty if he felt thwarted in any way and the fact that he hadn’t reminded me to take it off meant he wanted it to remain for all the world to see.
Still, I should’ve waited, seeing as how the ink on his divorce was barely dry and that whole situation was still a mess. It’s a toss-up between which one of the two of us was going to face the most backlash from this, but even the thought of that couldn’t bring me to take it off because, apart from everything else, it felt right having it there.
To me, it was a symbol of how far we’d come, a testament to all we’d endured to get here. And besides, it made me feel pretty. My heart hasn’t stopped racing since the second he placed it on my finger, but more than the beauty of the ring or its value, it’s what it represents to us, to me.
The very history of it, the fact that we’d been together the first time I ever saw it and fell in love with it. The fact that he remembered, even though I’m sure he was high that day like he always was back then.
To my girlish heart, it was proof that even when we were apart, he’d still been thinking of me. That in the midst of that hell, I’d been on his mind. It can never erase all that had happened, of course, but a little piece of my broken heart was healed by his thoughtfulness.
It also goes to prove that he hadn’t been lying to me when he said he’d never stopped loving me and had just been caught up in the lies and schemes planned by others.
To some, it might not seem like enough after everything that had happened, but those people don’t know us; they have no idea who we are or were before all of this happened. Or that even when I hated him, I loved him to the very depths of my soul.
This ring, more than words, was like a balm to my soul because it showed me, at least, that Ryder had always had me on his mind and in his thoughts. Why else would he have bought it after seeing how much I liked it?
I told myself all those things to make myself feel better about keeping it on, even though I felt a bit mean-girlish, knowing that she was in no way ready to handle this turn of events, given what I had seen the day before.
Still, the thought of taking it off felt like too much of a blight on my happiness and the start of our new beginning. That was a sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make, especially for someone who’d gone out of her way to destroy me.
That feeling lasted until my first break. Out of necessity, I’d removed the ring during shooting, but once the cameras were off, I’d stupidly removed the ring from my pocket, which was the only place I’d felt comfortable leaving it, and put it back on, thinking I’d be safe behind closed doors in my dressing room. No one ever came in there unannounced.
The assistant who came to offer me a snack couldn’t have known that I’d be sitting there staring at my finger with a stupid smile on my face when she walked in, and by the time I realized I’d been caught, there was no way to hide it.