Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Why was Heather Saunders seen having lunch with Elena Gianni? Her husband was working with mine on a project together, so shouldn’t I be the one she was having lunch with? I’d done my research on that family after Ryder came back and knew that she was very selective in who she kept company with. She’s the true sense of Hollywood royalty, the type of woman people would sell their firstborn just to meet.
So what was she doing with her? And what did it have to do with my husband? The scream that I’d been holding in check for so long threatened to escape, and I had to dig my nails into my palms to keep myself grounded.
I got up and went in search of Ryder once my legs were steady enough. It’s time to put this thing to bed; time I get things back on track. I was surprised to see him coming towards me as I left the room where I’d met Mary. It had been some time since he’d come to my side of the house, and I felt a glimmer of hope at the smile he gave me.
“We need to talk. Come with me.” I was more surprised than any wife should be when he took my hand and led me back to the room I’d just left. Maybe things were about to turn around after all. Mom did say not to worry.
Chapter 37
*Janie*
I couldn’t take my eyes off his face as he led me into the room and sat me down on the loveseat, taking one of the chairs closest to it. Even with that initial smile, I was terrified about what he was about to say.
What if he asked for a divorce? What if everyone was right, and this was really the end? There was no way to read his face, not like in the past when the drugs kept him under control, and I didn’t have to worry from one day to the next what he was thinking.
“I want to apologize.” I think the world stopped. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it might as well be. Ryder was saying sorry to me about something. It didn’t matter what it was he was apologizing for; just the fact that he was talking to me so nicely, too, was enough, and he wasn’t finished.
“I know I haven’t been the best husband, especially since I came back this last time, but I just wanted to get this acting thing right, and I couldn’t have any distractions. I see it as a new adventure for the both of us, and I wanted it to be right since I’ve made a mess of everything else.”
What? I had no idea he was thinking this way. “I thought you hated me; you’ve been so cold. I thought you blamed me….”
“No, no, of course not, it’s nothing like that. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It’s just...I’ve noticed some things about myself once I got clean that I needed to work on, especially with you, with us.”
What is he saying? This is like a dream come true. Everyone was up in arms because he was off the drugs; they thought that once he came to his senses, he’d leave me and maybe worse, but I knew that he’d only remember how good I was to him; that was my hope all along anyway.
I wish my dad and Mary were here to hear this, but it’ll be just as fun when I call them later to tell them. I never should’ve doubted myself and the fact that I could get him to love me. I knew Mary was wrong when she said that it was only the drugs and the spells that had won him to my side.
How could I have forgotten how close we had become before the wedding? The fact that we had lied to him even then didn’t matter; I was sure that he’d started having feelings for me no matter what came after. I was so happy right now that even the fact that I hadn’t had sex with my husband in five years didn’t matter. I was sure that was about to change now too.
This is what I had been hoping for, what I’d dreamed of for so long, and here it was. Who cares about what everyone is saying online? When have I ever paid any attention to that crap? Mary was right when she said I’d only ever cared about myself and what I wanted. Why should anything else matter?
“I’m not sure how much you know about Chad Saunders, but he’s known to be a family man with very strong values when it comes to family. One of the things he made me promise when he helped get me clean was that I would keep my image spotless from now on. I knew that I’d done a lot of horrible things in our marriage, and I didn’t know how to make it up to you, so I needed some time.”