Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 37733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 189(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 126(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 189(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 126(@300wpm)
“That doesn’t mean it has to be the end of our story.”
“Ethan, I… we shouldn’t make this harder than it needs to be. You should try to work on your relationship with Ben. Your son is more important than I am. And like I said, we both knew our time together was limited.”
He shakes his head again, his face a mask of frustration and pain that tears at my heartstrings. Worse, I know the longer I sit here, the easier it’s going to be for Ethan to talk me out of this. Or rather, the easier it’s going to be for me to talk myself out of this.
“I don’t want to be an impediment to you trying to repair your relationship with your son,” I tell him, my heart breaking a little more with every word I utter. “Please, Ethan. Let’s not make this more difficult than it needs to be.”
I get to my feet and look down at him. I lay a hand against his cheek, and he leans into it, his face reflecting all the torment churning inside my soul. Turning away from Ethan, I walk away as the tears begin rolling down my face, my heart reduced to nothing but a pile of rubble.
16
ETHAN
“Are you all right, Dr. Collier?”
I look up to see Melinda standing in my office doorway, a look of concern on her face, and offer her a smile I know looks weak.
“I’m fine, Melinda. Thank you for asking.”
“You’ve just been kind of off lately. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just … I just have some things going on. Nothing to worry about,” I reply. “But I appreciate you checking on me.”
The past week has been nothing but painful. I tried doing what Elodie suggested regarding repairing my relationship with Ben, but the two dozen calls and texts I sent him went unanswered. And frankly, I don’t expect to hear from him. As far as Ben goes, and because of the situation with Elodie, I’m sure I’m dead to him.
And that’s fine. That’s a wound that calloused over a long time ago. Not that I don’t miss my son. Not that I don’t want a relationship with him. But this is all his doing. This is his decision, and I’m doing my best to respect it. I do hope that one day, he’ll grow up and come around, and we can work on fixing what’s broken between us. I’m hoping it happens, but I’m not expecting it.
“You can talk to me, Dr. Collier. I’m known to be a pretty good listener.”
Talking about things has never been my strong suit. I’ve never been the sort of guy who was comfortable sharing my feelings with anybody. My MO has always been to stuff them all down and wait for them to go away. But right now, I feel like a teakettle that’s about to boil over. There’s so much stuff swirling around inside of me that I don’t even know what to do with it all.
As if sensing that I do want to talk, Melinda steps into my office and drops in the chair in front of my desk. I honestly had no intention of actually talking about any of it and just following my standard protocol of swallowing it all down. But when Melinda sits down and looks at me with that expression of worry on her face, it’s like the dam inside me breaks and everything I’ve been holding back and bottling up comes rushing out, swamping her in a tsunami of emotions.
I speak for almost half an hour, and when the last word has floated out of my mouth, I slump back in my chair, feeling completely wrung out. Melinda gapes at me with a look of shock and what looks like horror on her face, and I immediately feel like an asshole. I sit back up again and clear my throat, trying to salvage some bit of my dignity.
“ I’m sorry to have unloaded on you like that,” I say. “I…”
“Don’t be sorry, Dr. Collier,” she says. “I’m just … I’m surprised you did. You’re normally so reserved. But I’m glad you talked to me. I’m glad you shared it with me.”
“I’m not so sure I am. I don’t think I’ve ever felt weaker in my life.”
She laughs softly. “You’re not weak. You’re human. And to be perfectly honest, this is the first time I’ve ever seen your human side. You’re usually so above it all and aloof. It’s kind of nice knowing you’ve got this soft and squishy side in you.”
A rueful smile curls my lips, and I shake my head. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Okay, fine. Maybe not soft and squishy,” she replies. “But it is nice seeing your more human side, Dr. Collier.”
“I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that more human side.”