Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 97371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97371 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
But at what cost...I’ve watched something change in you every time things change for him. For each of his promotions, you seem to lose a part of you.
Every time Dario has become distant and tense like this, I’ve made excuses and I’ve never pried. Always thinking, if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me.
What am I really missing? Clearly there’s a whole lot.
Maybe you need to start looking deeper. Find out what you’re a part of.
What could I possibly be a part of? I know nothing. My ignorance is the problem here though, isn’t it?
That goes for diving into everything around you.
My own family comes to mind. Uncle Rick may be my favorite but I’ve always questioned how clean he has kept his nose. If I’m honest, when Uncle Kington is around, he reminds me of the way the Di Lorenzo family moves. I used to think it was because he’s the oldest, but my uncles all treat him like some Don or something.
“Baby…baby, did you hear what I said?”
I come out of my thoughts and look up at Dario. He’s standing before the island, watching me closely. I clear my throat and push my shoulders back.
“Sorry, what was that?”
“I asked if you were hungry? I can cook something up real quick.”
“It’s late and you’ve been cooking all day. Let’s order Chinese. You okay with that?”
He shrugs. “Chinese it is.”
I smile as he doesn’t ask what I want. He knows. How can you know someone so well and not know them at all? I frown as I think of how little I know myself.
What I do know is that if I tell Dario about this baby, he’s going to take charge the way he always does, and I may never find what I’ve lost. I toughen my resolve to keep this to myself for now.
Realizing I’ve lost myself in Dario changes a lot for me. While I’m not sure how I feel about him being a part of the Mafia, I know for sure I have some soul searching to do. I can’t do that when Dario goes all alpha. It’s always his way.
I can’t love any man more than I love me. If I have a little girl, I don’t want my daughter to think that’s normal.
I smile to myself. This baby may not have been planned but now that it’s on its way, I want to do what’s best for it and me.
Dario comes up behind me and plants his hands on the counter on either side of me. His sharp inhale pulls me from my thoughts.
“You’ve been distant all day. Listen, about what you said yesterday. Yeah, we have bad timing. I wish like hell I wasn’t leaving.
“If it were up to me, you’d be with me. I want this to work. I just need some time and your trust.”
I turn in my seat to look him in his eyes. Blind trust. That’s something I’ve given this man all my life. However, I don’t think I can anymore. Not at the cost of me or this baby.
“If our timing is wrong, maybe we should pause. You go to Italy and do whatever you need to, and I’ll focus on all that needs to be done here.”
His face clouds over and his jaw tics. He bounces his gaze over my face. I hold my breath as I await his response. He moves between my legs and cups my face.
Before I can catch on to what he’s about to do, he takes my lips in a heated, passionate kiss. I moan into his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck. When he breaks the kiss, he places his forehead to mine.
“You are mine no matter where I am. Don’t get this fucked up, Carleen. This space”—he narrows his eyes and points between us—“you’re trying to put between us isn’t going to change that. What would we need to pause for? A pause means being free to fuck other people and neither one of us has that freedom.
“If I’m gone for an entire year or two, this cock will be leaking for you and you alone. Just like your pussy better be so tight I have to pry that shit open with a toolbox to get back in it.”
I open my mouth to speak but the intercom buzzes, announcing the arrival of our food. Dario kisses me hard before he saunters off to get our dinner. I tighten my lips as I watch him walk and remember Toni’s words about the way he walks—as if he owns the world. All that BDE is real. I’m wet from his words as it is, despite my anger.
And this is my problem. For all my intelligence, I’m a fool for Dario.
I look at the clock. It’s eleven twenty. I should probably call it a night. However, I didn’t have much to eat today. I was wound too tight.