Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
I say nothing. There’s nothing to say. Nothing to do. The pain will stop when it chooses to stop, and until then, I’m at its mercy. I never wanted her to see this, never wanted anyone to see it. I’m mortified. Her fingers reach for me, the softest, most soothing touch on my forehead again. I want to reach up. Reach for her. The shame surges up inside me, and I hesitate. When I finally raise my hand, she’s already gone, already pulled away, and her soft steps are retreating, ebbing. And now that she’s gone, I let the tide of black agony in my head suck me under.
7
DARBY
I’ve only gone to get a cold cloth and a glass of water, but when I come back, Leon already seems to be asleep. He’s on his side, which makes me feel better since he won’t choke that way if he throws up again. I hope.
I have never felt so lost in my life. All this time, I knew there was something wrong. Something he’s been hiding that he doesn’t want anyone else to know or see. He doesn’t even look like the Leon I know.
I spot his phone on the nightstand, where he must have tossed it before he fell into bed. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to call an ambulance, but the other part hesitates. I don’t want Leon to hate me for the rest of…well, to eternity. I don’t want to take away his choice. I don’t like doctors much either, and I hate hospitals. If he said no, then he meant no. I don’t know how often this happens, but if he really needed to go, I think he would tell me. He wants to stay here, so I’m going to let him for as long as I can, but I’m still afraid. My heart is racing, and my whole body is drenched in a clammy sweat.
I don’t want to snoop, but I pick up his phone. I know his passcode from watching him put it in so many times. He probably has no idea that I know, and I feel like I’m violating all my ethics by doing this, but I need to.
Leon has never talked about his family, but we didn’t have that kind of relationship. He only ever talked about work. I didn’t even know about Kitty until yesterday morning, but I know about her now, and she probably knows what’s going on. Maybe she can help me.
After I find her name in a very brief contact list, I take his phone and exit the bedroom. I sit outside on the front step. The night is silent and still. There’s no breeze, so it’s hot and sticky. The moon is bright over the lake. The yard is dark, but the water glistens, and the dock and boat complete the idyllic lake life picture. It’s so peaceful and nice out here, just the way I love it, but right now, I feel scared and alone and chilled down to the bone in a way the warm night won’t touch.
I dial Kitty’s number and wait. Lucky for me, she picks up on the first ring.
“Leon! What’s up?”
“It’s actually Darby.”
Kitty actually gasps. “Darby? Leon let you use his phone?” Her incredulous tone tells me what I already know about him being an intensely private person.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that he let me. He uh…he doesn’t know I’m calling you. I’m outside. I—something’s happening. He’s really sick. He’s in bed right now, and honestly, I don’t know if he’s sleeping or passed out, but I think he’s in a lot of pain. He won’t tell me what’s wrong, and he won’t let me take him to a hospital.”
“Fuck, shit, fuck,” Kitty curses. That’s probably more curse words than I’ve ever heard strung together before. I guess I’m kind of sheltered. “I’m coming over,” she says.
“We’re at my family’s cabin. In the middle of nowhere.”
Another string of curses. “I know,” she responds. “I told him that he should have told you about this. He was acting funny already when I was at his house yesterday. I…I’ll still be there. How far are you?”
“An hour and a half, just about, but that’s after you get out of the city.”
“If you give me the address and directions, I’ll find it.”
“It’s really hard to find. And there are gravel roads.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be okay. I’m tough. We both are. But Leon…he—he’s going to be okay. It’s just a migraine. I think. They can be really bad.”
I want to ask her a thousand questions, but I don’t want to delay her getting here. We’ll talk in person instead. I’ll feel better when I’m not alone and when I know how to make Leon feel better. That’s what I want. I would do anything to stop whatever pain he’s in, and I know it must be bad. I want to protect him. I want to keep him safe.