Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Her groan sent a vibration running through my body, and she buried her face in my chest. “The thought of just making a choice is making me dizzy.” She looked up at me, resting her chin on her hand, which she rested on my belly. “Will you just take me to bed and not let me go tonight?”
It thrilled me that she’d asked me for something that was so easy for me to promise her. I moved gently, pulling her up with me so that she was cradled in my arms as I carried her down the hall.
As I made her breakfast and she sat on the bench outside, staring out at nothing as she sipped from a cup of coffee, I thought of the next thing I needed to do, that would probably be the most difficult yet. She still hadn’t told me what it was that had driven her out of the cabin, leading Alex back to us, so I’d figured that the only way to get her to do it would be to be vulnerable enough for the both of us.
I slid her omelet onto the plate and took it outside, taking my seat next to her. She blinked a few times as she came back from wherever she’d been and smiled at me as she took her first bite.
“I need to tell you something,” I said, breathing deeply as I started talking, “that I probably should’ve told you before.”
“Okay,” she said, dragging out the second syllable as she blinked up at me.
“You’ve asked me a few times now about why I left the force and why I keep everyone at arms’ length—” I swallowed “—including you. Especially you.”
I broke off our eye contact, unable to take in the widening of her blue eyes. “The truth is that it all comes back to the same story, from when I was in Nashville. Remember—remember when I told you about Patrick and how I would make him cookies? And ratatouille?”
She nodded, putting her hand down next to mine so that the tips of our fingers touched.
“Neil, Patrick’s dad, was my partner from the day I made detective. He was way ahead of me, but he always treated me like I was on his level. I met him right after he’d asked his wife Jackie to marry him, and by the time the wedding came around, we were so close that he actually asked me to be a groomsman. And when Pat was born, I got asked to be godfather.”
I smiled at the memory, thinking of little blonde-haired, dark-eyed, solemn Patrick who took life so seriously. She smiled with me.
“Jackie became like a sister too, and she was always trying to set me up with people. She said she didn’t want me to wind up alone. But the truth was that I was happy with my life; I’d go out on dates, but I had my family with Neil, Jackie, and Patrick.”
I breathed deeper, knowing that I was coming up to the moment that would be hardest for me to discuss.
“Neil and I were on a complicated case involving a little girl who’d been kidnapped from her mom in a custody battle, and we’d tracked down the dad. He was a real piece of shit, so time wasn’t on our side; we had to get in there and get her out. We didn’t want to go in guns blazing in case he did something stupid, so we figured we’d get her out first while he was still sleeping and then go back in and arrest him. We were almost out of the house with her when her father had woken up.
He saw me holding his daughter as we were trying to get her out. He pointed a gun at me, and I heard it go off, but I got pushed out of the way, and I didn’t really see what had happened. I put the little girl down and radioed in for backup, and Neil and I were able to get out of the house. But—” The words froze in my throat, and I swallowed them down. “The bullet had lodged in Neil’s chest, and he died in surgery later that night.”
The tears were now rolling freely down my face, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. She took my hand, and I held her fingers tightly.
“He pushed me out of the way, which put him right in line of fire, and after that I just… I froze. I could barely look at Jackie when she came to the hospital that night to see us. I couldn’t go to the funeral. The guilt still has me frozen most of the time. I send Jackie money every month to support her and Patrick, but I haven’t been able to talk to her or face her.”