Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 323(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
“You’re being real conscientious, aren’t you, buddy?” I asked as we walked out. He seemed to snort as we walked out the door before bounding ahead of me on the path.
Our morning walks were more than routine; they were practically religion, keeping me just as sane as they did him. He had a ton of energy and being able to expend it on the trails was good for him. It also kept me from going completely nuts, when almost every day was spent indoors with only a dog and my work for company.
Even though that was how I liked it, it still didn’t make it the easiest existence. Oftentimes the quiet started to set in like it was a solid force and made it so that the things that I worked so hard to avoid became inescapable.
As I walked, I thought over the last few days—really, the last few years—and realized that the whole situation with Macy had many more layers than I’d previously thought.
When I’d come back here from Nashville, I’d purposefully put everything into place so that I wouldn’t want or need company for years to come, if ever again. I’d had my freelance cyber security work and Bucky to give me purpose, the woods to give me serenity, and the few interactions I had with people in town for the little bit of social interaction I actually needed to keep my interpersonal skills from completely eroding. And if I ever craved the more intimate parts of human company… well, that was just tough luck. My hand and my memories would just have to be enough.
And then I’d spotted Macy at the grocery store, and the second I’d seen her, I’d felt like the bottom had dropped out of my world. Everything around me had been carefully constructed to make me feel like I wasn’t missing out on anything by cutting people out of my orbit.
But the second that I’d seen Macy that day in the market, with her shining blue eyes that just barely hid the pain she was running from, I’d hardly been able to hold back from her. My reaction to her had been primal, magnetic. Something that couldn’t be helped.
What made it even worse was that the sex had been some of the best I’d ever had. I could say that without reservation, and that knowledge was throwing me clear across the mountain.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop wondering what she would think of what had happened between us the night before. Would she have certain expectations of me now? Would she regret it? I honestly didn’t know how I felt about either of those possibilities.
Bucky and I had been walking for over an hour, and I hadn’t gotten close to the settled state of mind I’d been looking for. Even so, I figured it was time to head back.
When I came out from under the branch that shielded the cabin from view, my heart thudded painfully to see that Macy was sitting on the porch, nursing a cup of coffee and reading her book peacefully with her leg brought up underneath her.
My stomach swooped in the way that I’d started associating with her as soon as I saw her in front of me, and it dove even further when she looked up at me and smiled, the corners of her eyes creasing in that way that they did when she actually seemed happy.
The extra thump of my heart made the blood start rushing through my mind, chasing possibilities through me, and I didn’t return her smile.
“What are you doing outside?” I asked, my tone much harder than it needed to be. “Get back in the house.”
As soon as it had come, her smile vanished. “I’m still attached to the house. I haven’t moved in case you haven’t noticed.”
“You’re outside,” I said through my teeth. “Anyone could come up here and see you.”
“Isn’t the whole point of me being here that people don’t come around here? I thought that you said I’d be safe on the property.”
“I did, as long as you stay inside. I don’t understand why you can’t just do what I told you.”
“And I don’t understand why you can’t stop being such a goddamn control freak!” The words seemed to burst past the dam that she’d put up to keep them in. “You’re just like all the rest of them, aren’t you?”
She got up and walked inside without another word, leaving me out there with my mouth open.
In all honesty, my reaction had been out of proportion to finding her there. Not only had I seen her sitting out on the porch, looking for all the world like she seemed perfectly at home in my life, but… I’d liked it. And I’d never expected that.
I walked into the cabin and saw her on the couch holding her legs to her chest as she pressed her forehead into her knees as if she was avoiding my gaze. I didn’t say anything to her, simply filling Bucky’s water bowl first, and then made my way over to the couch and took a seat next to her without a word.