Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
“It’s so complicated, Will. You can’t just decide to be with me because I’m pregnant. It’s not fair to either of us.”
He laughs, and it dispels the heaviness of the situation as I look up at him through wet lashes, surprised and uncertain. “If anything, it was the catalyst for me to get my sorry ass moving sooner. I want this with you, Alina, more than I’ve wanted anything else. I want to move forward with you. So I’d call it a blessing.”
I’m shocked, and the honest words slip from my mouth. “I’m scared. I’ve never done this before.”
He lets out a nervous breath, and his hand comes to rest on my cheek. “Neither have I, love. But with how much I filled you with my cum, I can’t say I’m all that surprised. And maybe I was a selfish prick for hoping it’d happen.”
I’m a mix of fury and disbelief. Don’t get me wrong, I understand we both got off on it, but I never actually thought it’d eventuate to this… Before I can feel any other type of way he confesses.
“I’m not a good man, but I’m yours if you’ll have me.”
I sigh with exhaustion and a spark of hope.
But there’s also the need to preserve myself, to want to shield myself from this vulnerability since I’d already been hurt by it before. The thought of hope and fear mix, trying to outweigh one another.
“This is wild, Will.” I try to envision what we might look like in the future.
“This is us, Alina. Wild, explosive, and hopefully a lot of hate fucking.”
I laugh at that, hating that he can make me laugh even under the circumstances. He wraps his arms around my waist, his gaze never leaving mine.
“When I tell you I love you, Alina, I mean it. I’ve been fixated on you from the moment I met you. No games, no ulterior motive. I just want us to move forward together.”
“What if you hate me for it?” I ask quietly. “What if you feel like you’re being trapped into this? Or you can’t let go of the past, or I don’t compare. Or…”
“You are your own experience and love, Alina. You’re not to be compared, and you trapped me inevitably the moment you first called me an asshole, and I tasted you for the first time on that flight.”
My heart is pounding because it all feels too real, too magical. It’s a gamble and a bet but with the highest stake–my heart.
“Here I thought I dodged a bullet with you,” I say, with the realization as to why I care so much about him hitting me at that moment. Because as much as we denied this thing between us, I’ve learned so much about myself with Will, and I wasn’t willing to admit that when I was in that fire. Besides my mother, he is the person I thought of most. And when he broke through those flames, I knew then, without a doubt, that I loved him. But I was always too scared to admit it. Because it was easier to push him away than risk the chances of my heart being broken.
He sighs, almost sounding defeated. “You and me both, love.”
“I love you, Will, but I still hate you.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way, milady,” he says before kissing me. It feels like the first breath I’ve taken since leaving New York. Like the piece I was missing has finally returned to me. And I realize now why it’d been so hard for me to settle on a location for my office. It was never about the place but the person I wanted to call home.
CHAPTER 54
Will
“Are you sure about this?” Alina asks quietly. I hold her hand. I’m nervous, sad, and unsure, but not about Alina being back here in America with me or the fact that we’re walking to the gravesite of my deceased wife. I’m sure I want Alina with me, but I’m unsure as to how I can truly say goodbye to Hayley and let go now.
“I don’t have to come with you, Will,” she says nervously.
“I want you here with me, love. I just need to say goodbye one last time,” I confess. It might be selfish to bring her here, and I don’t know why I had the urgency for them to “meet” in some kind of way, but it feels as if while closing one door, I’m showing Alina the truth to my words—that I’m willing to pry the door open to our future.
The flowers I had delivered only two weeks ago have begun to wilt on Hayley’s tombstone. I sigh as I pick them up and put the new bunch of flowers down. My hand is tight around Alina’s. It’s been some time since I’ve returned here.