Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
“When I got to Ally’s dorm room, there was blood all over her and all over the area surrounding her,” Christian told him. Axel sucked in a sharp breath of air. I flinched. “I’m not sure her medication dosage is correct because she’s still hearing the voices in her head.”
Hot tears slid down my cheeks. I sobbed. I heard my brother move, and suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me, his hands cupping my cheeks. I whimpered. “Ally, Sis, look at me,” Axel pleaded.
I shook my head. I couldn’t look at him. Not now.
“Beautiful,” Christian soothed. His hand slid under the shirt I was wearing, sliding up my spinal cord. “Look at him, baby. He’s not mad, I promise.”
I slowly opened my eyes, my brother’s face blurry through my tears. “Sis, it’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m not angry. I swear to you that I’m not. You can’t help the voices. That’s not your fault.”
“But I cut so much,” I whimpered. A sob ripped from my throat. “I broke my promise to Julian. He’s going to hate me.”
“No.” His voice remained low and soothing—patient, just like always. “Julian could never hate you. We made a promise to you to never turn our backs on you, and we’re not. We just need to get Dr. Gresham to come see you, okay?” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Let Christian take care of you while I call Dr. Gresham.”
I nodded. Christian took the cup of coffee from my hands and pulled me onto his lap before he laid down on his couch, holding me in his arms, turning me so I was snuggled against his chest. He draped his leg over mine, holding me securely to him.
“You’re so brave, my moon,” Christian praised. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re so fucking brave and strong. You’re going to get through this, and I’ll always be holding your hand as you do. I promise.”
“You’ll walk away,” I choked out, more tears sliding down my cheeks. “We barely know each other. My shit is overwhelming—even for me.”
Christian soothed his lips over mine. I whimpered, my chest aching. “The moment our eyes connected in that study room on campus, I’ve been drawn to you. I don’t know why; I can’t fucking explain it, but something in my gut tells me that you’re it—you’re the one for me. I’m not fucking this up. I’m not walking away from you—never. You’re a once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman, and I know once we get all of your medications figured out, you’ll grow, and you’ll thrive, and I’ll be there to watch you glow as bright as the moon amidst all of your darkness.”
“You’re so poetic.” I sniffled.
He brushed his nose with mine. “Just for you, beautiful—only for you.”
Christian allowed me to roll over onto my other side when I heard Axel let Dr. Gresham into Christian’s house. Dr. Gresham gave me a warm, encouraging smile. “Alright, Ally,” he said soothingly as he kneeled in front of me. “You’re still hearing the voices?”
I nodded at him. Christian pressed a kiss to the back of my head, his arms squeezing around me for a moment in a silent offer of extra support.
“What did they say this time that triggered you to cut yourself?” he asked me.
I shut my eyes, shaking my head. I didn’t want to tell him—didn’t want Christian to know that my voices knew I doubted him enough to make me hurt myself like this.
Maybe it’ll make him push you away sooner.
You’re only a freak, after all.
I whined. “Stop,” I whimpered, reaching up to clench my head, as if I squeezed hard enough, they might shut up.
Christian quickly flipped me back over, locking his eyes on mine. “Look at me; focus on me,” he gently ordered, his voice stern. “I’m here. I don’t give a fuck what those voices in your head may say. I’m here. I’m not fucking going anywhere.”
“Ally, can you tell me what they were saying while you’re facing Christian?” Dr. Gresham asked me. I bit my bottom lip. Christian ran his hand down my back, soothing me.
“It’s okay, beautiful,” Christian told me. “I work with patients with schizophrenia,” he reminded me. “I know how cruel those voices can be. Tell Dr. Gresham what they say to you.” He gave me a tender smile. “I want to prove them wrong, beautiful.”
My bottom lip trembled, tears burning in my eyes. “They were saying that Christian doesn’t care about me,” I said quietly, closing my eyes. “That—that he was just going to use me like my ex had,” I whispered.
“And the bit about your ex sent you tumbling over the edge,” Dr. Gresham confirmed. I nodded. It always did. That fucker broke me in ways I wasn’t sure could ever be repaired. “Can you sit up for me so we can see how badly you hurt yourself?” he asked me.