Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
FulfillingDominance: You were very good for me. Perfect. Climb into bed and set the laptop beside you. I’m going to stay online with you and make sure you’re okay.
I nearly melt. I hadn’t realized I’d been afraid he would log off right away until he reassured me he wouldn’t.
I scramble into the bed, pull the covers over me, and let my computer rest on my thighs.
CravingMore: Thank you, Sir.
FulfillingDominance: You’re very welcome. Was that what you needed?
CravingMore: Yes. So much.
FulfillingDominance: What was your favorite part?
Oh. My favorite part? I haven’t played with many Doms—I don’t have a lot of experience—so maybe it’s normal to be asked that question, but no one ever has before.
CravingMore: I want to say all of it, but I have a feeling you’re expecting more than that… The obeying, I guess. Knowing I was doing exactly what you wanted, even though you wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t. And…and maybe that if anyone saw me, it would be embarrassing, that I was humiliating myself by sucking my fingers and rubbing the mattress. I did that for you, and knowing that almost makes me feel high.
A few minutes go by, and fear skyrockets inside me, making me tremble. Did I do something wrong? The last thing I want is to fuck this up with the first Dom who has made the wires inside me connect.
FulfillingDominance: Your reply is more satisfying than I have words for. If I could have crafted a response to that question for myself, for my needs in a sub, it would have been that.
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest, making me feel like I’m soaring. I want that more than anything—to make Sir proud. He might not be mine, and I don’t know if this will ever happen again, but he’s given me exactly what I need.
CravingMore: Thank you. That means so much to me. This… It’s what I’ve been looking for but haven’t been able to find.
FulfillingDominance: How much experience do you have?
CravingMore: I’ve met with four Doms, and none of them made me feel like what we just did. It was only once for each of them except the first man. We had two scenes together because I thought I was doing something wrong and wanted to try again. I’ve gone on dates with other men looking for this, but it didn’t feel right, so I didn’t have a scene with them.
FulfillingDominance: That’s very smart of you. If you’re not feeling right about a situation, you should never give power to a person. I get the feeling you’re younger than me. How old are you?
Fear spikes sharply in my chest. I don’t know how old he is either. Honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t ask. I’ve always been more attracted to older men, so it’s usually one of my first questions. But something in Sir’s words tells me that my being younger might not be a good thing to him. The thought feels like a weight on my chest, like what I want is dangling right in front of me but just out of reach, and my answer could pull it even further away.
CravingMore: Twenty-five.
Guilt hits me, but it’s only three years. It’s not that big of a deal to lie about three years. If we meet, I can pass for that age, but hopefully, it’ll sound better than twenty-two.
CravingMore: Is that okay?
FulfillingDominance: Yes, boy. How are you feeling? Still okay?
CravingMore: Yes, Sir. I’m just sleepy now.
FulfillingDominance: I want you to go to sleep. Get a good night’s rest. I’ll stay on for a little while, and if you need me, message me again. I don’t like that I’m not there to provide the proper aftercare. Are you free to talk at the same time Monday?
I feel a stab of disappointment that we won’t be chatting tomorrow.
CravingMore: I work. Can we do nine instead?
FulfillingDominance: Yes. I’ll talk to you then. Thank you for giving yourself to me tonight.
CravingMore: Thank you, Sir, for giving me an escape and helping me be myself.
I go to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.
CHAPTER SIX
Marshall
“Thank you, Sir, for giving me an escape and helping me be myself.”
Two days later, I can’t stop thinking about that one sentence. The whole scene was memorable in a lot of ways. I felt very connected to CravingMore, to the moment, and knew that even though I couldn’t see him, he was obeying everything I told him. That’s not easy to do in a situation like ours—typing messages back and forth—and hell, maybe I’m wrong and he was playing me, but I don’t believe that for a moment.
“Thank you, Sir, for giving me an escape and helping me be myself.”
Still, that statement is the main one on repeat in my brain, and it’s so entwined with why this lifestyle is a part of me, of who I am, and a part of who CravingMore is too. It’s not something we can be everywhere, not something we can show everyone, and if we do, we open ourselves up to being judged about it. We have to find safe spaces to authentically be ourselves, and that single line from CravingMore tells me we’re on the same wavelength. That he sees it and feels it the way I do…and that calls out to the Dom in me on a whole new level I hadn’t anticipated.