Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92659 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92659 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
She shudders out a breath. “I care about you, Charon. I don’t want things to change, but just because we are…friends…doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do. Even if we were more, you still don’t get to make those choices for me.”
I know she’s right, but that doesn’t stop me going tense at her words. It doesn’t stop my response from ripping free. “If we were more, you wouldn’t be trying to ride someone else’s cock without talking to me first.”
She turns, and I loosen my hold on her just enough to allow it. I don’t release her though. I don’t think I’m capable of it right now.
Eurydice stares into my eyes. Her brows draw together. “That seems to imply you wouldn’t mind me fucking other people as long as we discussed it first.”
I’ve had plenty of nontraditional relationships in the past. I figure as long as everyone is on the same page and consenting, that’s all that matters. That looks a little different with each relationship.
With her?
I cup her hips. Part of me can barely believe I’m touching her like this. Talking about this. “Getting ahead of yourself. You haven’t fucked me yet, and you’re already talking about fucking others.”
Her gaze drops to my lips. “You’ve become one of my best friends, and I won’t pretend that I don’t want you. But…that’s all I can offer you. Sex. I don’t have it in me to give anything else.”
Gods, she has no idea how much I want her in my bed. If I cared about her any less, I wouldn’t hesitate. That’s the problem though. I’m trapped between what I want and what she needs. “I care about you too much. It would never just be sex with us.”
“I know.” She smiles, and the misery in the expression breaks my fucking heart. I need to release her right now, but I can’t quite make myself break this moment. Not when it’s looking like it will be both first and last. She presses her hands to my chest. “I care about you too. But…”
I don’t want to say his fucking name, don’t want to bring another person into this conversation, but the truth is that the shadow of him follows her around like some damned curse. “Orpheus.”
She nods, her dark eyes sad. “Orpheus. I know it’s pathetic and cliché, but the way things ended has prevented any kind of closure. I don’t particularly want to go to the upper city and force a conversation, because I don’t think that’s fair either, but my heart is more than bruised, Charon. You deserve someone whole and healthy.”
I can’t decide if I’m proud of her or want to put her over my knee. “You want a clear explanation of intentions? Very well.” I slide my hands down to cup her ass and pull her even tighter against me. “I’ve done right by you, Eurydice. I’ve given you space to figure your shit out and start to heal. I haven’t pressured you, and I’ve done my damnedest to keep my attraction to you hidden.”
She blinks. “But?”
“But you threw this gauntlet at my feet, and now you have a choice. You don’t get to decide what I deserve. I’m the only one who can do that. I’m not expecting you to be without scars, baby. No one is. But I’m offering you all of me. Heart. Body. Soul. You said you care about me. Let’s give this a shot.” I shouldn’t have let the pet name slip, but I’m laying it all out on the table right now. No reason to hold back.
She tenses. “Charon, that’s too much. That’s not fair. You’re asking for everything.”
“It’s doesn’t have to be everything.” It kills me to say it. I never thought she’d give me any indication that she might want me as much as I want her. Now, she’s done it and we’re teetering on the edge of ruin. Fuck that. If I have to smother every bit of my attraction to her in order to keep her in my life, I’ll do it. I take a deep breath and tell myself to let her go. I can’t quite make my hands obey. “If you don’t want me like that, then this won’t happen again. I’ll go back to being your safe friend.”
“My safe friend,” she echoes. “Just like that. You’ll stand back and let me fuck other people.”
It’ll kill me to do it. “If that’s what it takes.” I realize I still have my hands full of her ass, but I can’t quite make myself let go. This might be the last chance I get to touch her like this. “Take the leap with me, baby. We can figure things out on our way down. We already have a strong-as-shit foundation of caring and mutual respect. I love you.” I’m making a mistake. This is too much, too fast.