Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86857 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
After a 2 a.m. shower, I pull on a pair of black sweatpants and a white tank top and gulp down a glass of water. It clinks when I set it in the sink while closing my eyes. Young girls with long hair, ribbons, and giggles of innocence.
For hours, I stare out the window, nestled under a blanket on the sofa, waiting for sleep. I manage two hours of no dreams and wake when I hear the alarm in my bedroom. While shuffling my feet down the hallway, there’s a knock at my door. I continue to the bedroom to shut off my alarm first. As I get closer to the door, the deadbolt turns. I jump to the side, squatting down and retrieving my gun from my purse on the floor. When Colten’s head peeks around the corner, I blow out a sigh with the gun still aimed at him.
“Morning,” he says with his eyebrows raised, and his gaze glued to my gun.
“You have to stop breaking into my house.” I lower my gun and return it to my purse.
He holds up his key. “Remember? I’m not breaking into your house.”
I stand. “What are you doing here? It’s five o’clock.”
“I got called just after midnight. A woman’s body was found in a suitcase at the airport. I was on my way home and decided I needed to see you.”
“I know where you live. My house isn’t between the airport and your house. Nor is it between the police station and your house.”
“I didn’t say you were on my way home. I said I was on my way home and wanted to see you.”
“I’m not much of a sight at the moment.”
“You didn’t sleep well?”
I yawn. “I haven’t slept well since you made the terrible decision to save me.”
Colten follows me to my bathroom. “It wasn’t a decision or a choice. It’s instinctual. I need you in this life.”
“Liar.” I comb through my slightly damp hair.
He frowns at my reflection. “Remember that period when you visited with my mom nearly every day until my dad moved back home?”
I give him a single nod.
“It was the nicest thing I had ever seen anyone do for another human. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why you would do it. She wasn’t your mom. And nobody told you to do it. I was too immature to see it.”
“See what?” I pull my hair into a tight bun.
“See that you were a good person. It’s who you are. You don’t have to try. No one tells you to be a good person. It’s who you are.”
I squeeze a glob of toothpaste onto my toothbrush and eye him in the mirror.
“I trust you.” His hands find my waist while his lips press to the back of my neck.
I spit and rinse. “I abducted the girls from big events like weddings and funerals. Anywhere there was a crowd of people who were too distracted to properly watch the kids. Good people don’t do that.” I turn toward him, resting my hands on the edge of the sink. “It’s only a matter of time before I see how they died. And I don’t know if I’m emotionally equipped to deal with that. I’ve seen some truly grotesque things. I’ve dealt with liquid human remains. I’ve autopsied decapitated heads, no bodies. I’ve seen children who have been violently raped before being killed. I’ve put unborn babies in jars. It’s a job. It’s what I do, not who I am. But those girls …”
Colten’s hands slide around my neck, his thumbs brushing my cheeks. “What can I do?”
I deflate. I was ready for him to scold me for saying I instead of he. I was ready for him to give me part two of the you’re-a-good-person pep talk. “Just be you,” I whisper, snaking my arms around his waist.
“Who am I?”
I close my eyes, feeling exhausted. “Everything.”
“Call in. Don’t go to work today,” he says.
I peer up at him. My gut reaction is to roll my eyes at the ridiculous suggestion. I don’t skip work. That’s not me. I also don’t ignore my gut reactions. For some reason, I find myself nodding.
“I’m tired. Can we crawl into your bed and sleep until noon? I have to write up some reports, but I can do that later.”
Again, I nod. Then I text Dr. Cornwell before sliding into bed next to Colten. He pulls me to his warm body and kisses my forehead.
Maybe it’s Colten’s embrace or maybe it’s sheer exhaustion, but I sleep until eleven-thirty without a single vision or dream. I wake before him, but I don’t move. His face is so close to mine; I can’t help but inspect every tiny detail from the little scar by his eyebrow to the gray working its way into his five o’clock shadow. Long eyelashes. Full, downturned lips.