Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 70185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 351(@200wpm)___ 281(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
“Not to mention, I thought she had to be a dog if he was leaving her for that horse-face mutant, only to find out she’s ten times as hot, and you don’t think she’s got issues to work through that’s more important than your wedding?”
“And what the hell are you worried about? That old woman is going to plan your wedding down to the asphalt in the damn driveway of whatever place she terrorizes into giving her precious baby everything he wants.”
“You leave my Grandma outta your mouth, or I’ll tell her you’ve been talking mean about her again.”
“And? What’s she gonna do? Ring my ears again? That’s another thing, Justine, don’t let that old lady get anywhere near your ears. Her nails haven’t been clipped since the great depression, and that shit hurts.”
Why is this my life? Why did I have to meet these wonderful people at this time in my life? I would love to have been friends with Monique and get to know the ice-cold Carl and the hot and sexy but crazy Marcus.
“What time are you two supposed to get him back to the institution?”
“Like they would have him. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but this is the shit I have been putting up with for the last five years, and it isn’t going to get any better. So buckle up and decide…. No, wait, let me not give you any false hope.” She leaned in as if she was about to share some top secret.
“If you’re into making your own decisions and having a mind of your own, you can forget it. That crustacean fool probably already imagined a thousand ways to keep you protected. You should suck up as much sunshine as you can now because I see a lot of homeward-bound days in your future.”
“Monique, I’ll cut your pay in half.”
“I’ll sell your drawers on Only Fans; try me. You know I’ll make bank.”
“Don’t listen to her, babe; I’m not that bad.”
“My ass. Carl? What does he do to things he loves?”
“Hoard.”
“That’s right. I don’t know how you hoard a human, but his groundhog ass would dig a hole and bury you in it. At least this hole would probably be lined with gold, and the nuts would be top shelf.”
“If you two are his wingmen, you’re not doing a very good job of it.” Marcus removed the plate with the now cold omelet and replaced it with a fresh one, this time with onion, bacon, and cheese. I had to smile because what the fuck else was I gonna do? Cry?
In ten years, my husband had made me breakfast in bed once, and that was when I was too sick to get up and make it myself.
“He doesn’t need wingmen. He’s usually beating the women off with a stick, and that’s before they know about his worth.”
“I can see that.”
“Some of them I beat off with a stick because two assholes are just too much. He’s already a pain in the ass, but some of those females that are trying to get into his pockets start acting ignorant as soon as he gives them some dick. I don’t know what the hell is so….”
“Monique, I will straight up strangle you and carry you out to sea.”
“Fine, this one doesn’t look crazy, but if she turns out to be, you’re on your own.”
JUSTINE
“I’m sorry about all this, babe. I know it’s a lot, but we can’t rest on our laurels. I know Melanie; I know how her mind works. The fact that you embarrassed her in front of all those people she worked so hard to impress isn’t something she’s going to let go of easily.”
“Who cares? As if you’ll let her get near this one.” Monique looked at her nails; they were gorgeous, by the way, which reminded me. I haven’t had a manicure in months.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that I’m back, neither does she know that Justine and I are an item or that she’s under my protection.”
“How could she not know that you’re back? Didn’t she see you at the party?”
“No, I left to follow Justine before anyone saw me, really.”
“And you don’t want anyone knowing until after the divorce that you two are in a relationship.”
“Exactly, Carl. So that’s the first thing we have to navigate. For now, she’s going to be working with me, but that’s going to take a while because we have to get the daycare set up first because she wants the kids to be close.”
“I say we take both of them for a plane ride over South Sudan and drop them off in a parachute. Her asshole ex and that thing your father brought home with the hag he married.”
“I like her idea; let’s go with that.”
“Both of you be quiet. Monique, if you’re going to be like this, you can have the next three months off. Go pester your son in Boston.”