Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111400 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
“Cheyenne, wait!” He got out of bed and darted past me, reaching the door first, flattening his back against it.
Yes, Cole. Beg me to stay. Give me hope. Say you want me—not just for tonight.
“Yes?” I held my breath.
“I want you to know . . .” He ran a hand over his jaw. “I want you to know that I understand how you feel. And I hope you know how much I care about you. There hasn’t been anyone since Trisha that I—that I want this way.”
But not enough, I thought again, the lump rising in my throat. Not enough.
“I’m sorry if I messed up our friendship by saying one thing and doing another,” he went on. “I won’t do it again.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, wondering how the hell I was going to get through tomorrow. “Okay.”
He opened the door for me, and I held my head high as I walked through it.
At the sound of it closing behind me, I burst into tears.
After a near sleepless night, I dragged my ass out of bed at eight the next morning and knocked on the door of the bridal suite fifteen minutes later.
Blair took one look at my puffy face and bloodshot eyes the next morning and gasped. “Oh my God. What happened to you?”
“Do you have coffee?” I croaked.
“Yes. Come in, no one else is here yet.” She shut the door behind me and hurried over to a table where coffee, tea, and breakfast had been set out for the female wedding party. The entire room was big and bright, with lots of white everywhere—white carpet on the dark wood floor, white sheers on the windows, two white sofas facing each other, three white salon chairs facing three white-framed mirrors on walls painted a soft gray. In a couple hours, a hair and makeup team would arrive—they’d have a hell of a job whipping my sorry self into shape—and we were all due for a photo shoot at three.
Sometime between now and then, I had to prepare myself to face Cole. Walk down the aisle with him. Dance in his arms.
I sank down on a white sofa and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee Blair handed me. “Thanks.”
“What’s the matter?” she asked, sitting opposite me with her legs tucked beneath her. She wore a white fleece robe that had the Cloverleigh Farms insignia on it, and her hair was loose around her shoulders. Even with her face bare of makeup, she looked radiant—like a bride should.
“I feel like such a shitty friend for doing this to you on your wedding day,” I told her. “Part of me wants to lie and tell you everything is fine.”
“I wouldn’t believe you anyway,” she said. “You look like you cried yourself to sleep, if you slept at all.”
“Accurate,” I admitted, taking a sip.
“So talk. We have at least forty-five minutes before the rest of the gang arrives.”
I told her what had happened, watching her expressions run the gamut from surprised to angry to sad to impressed to sympathetic. “Oh, honey,” she said, learning forward to hug me.
“Oh God, don’t make me spill coffee on this white couch,” I said, setting the cup down on the glass coffee table.
“You poor thing.” Blair sat back again. “I can’t believe you walked away.”
“I had to,” I said, spying a box of tissues across the room and getting up to retrieve one. “All of a sudden, it hit me that we weren’t on the same page. I was doing it because I’m in love with him, and he was doing it because it would be fun. But fun can be had with anyone, you know? I was afraid it wouldn’t mean anything to him, and it was going to mean everything to me.” I groaned, snatching a couple tissues from the box. “God, that sounds so juvenile and stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Blair said. “It sounds mature and self-aware. Of course jumping into bed with Cole would be fun, but you know that it probably would have made it harder to deal with the fact that you want something he can’t give.”
“Right,” I said, blowing my nose. “But that’s nothing new. I just wish I hadn’t told him so much, you know? Like why couldn’t I have just pretended like I’d changed my mind about sex and walked out? Now he knows how I feel.”
“Maybe it’s better he knows,” Blair said hopefully. “Maybe he just needs time to process it.”
“No. The more he thinks about it, the more pathetic I’m going to look. I told him I loved him, Blair.” I tossed the tissues out and studied my blotchy face in one of the white-framed mirrors. “Ugh. Can I wear a paper bag over my face today?”
“No,” Blair said, getting off the couch and coming over to where I stood. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind and met my eyes in the mirror. “You are beautiful, and you’ve got no reason to hide. I’m so proud of you for standing up for your heart. I love Cole and I know he’s a good guy, but he doesn’t deserve you if he’s not willing to give a little.”