Total pages in book: 266
Estimated words: 250787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1254(@200wpm)___ 1003(@250wpm)___ 836(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 250787 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1254(@200wpm)___ 1003(@250wpm)___ 836(@300wpm)
I run a hand over my face, letting out an annoyed sigh. “Tell them to fuck off. I’m not seeing her.” As much as I want to fuck her, I’m not in the mood to deal with another therapist.
The guy hanging from the ceiling has tape wrapped around his head, but it only muffles his screams as Saint runs the tip of the knife down the man’s back, right next to his spine. His skin splits like butter, and blood begins to flow down his naked body. The chains rattle from his jerky movements.
“They’re not going to let you stop.” Saint finally speaks, stepping back and looking proudly at the bleeding man.
“Why don’t you two have to seek therapy?” I growl.
“Because we didn’t try to kill ourselves.”
“I’m not suicidal!” I bark.
There’s nothing that I’ve done that I can’t live with. I might not have chosen this life, but I made up my mind when I was younger to make the best of it. I’ve only ever killed one person who didn’t deserve to die, but I don’t regret it. It was what was best for her.
Kashton arches a brow. “Are you sure?”
Saint snorts. “The Lords think otherwise.”
I roll my eyes. “How many times do I have to say this? I don’t—”
“Remember how you ended up on the floor with your wrists cut open like a fish.” Kashton interrupts me. “However, I remember it perfectly since I was the one who found you.” His eyes narrow on mine.
He’s still mad at me because he thinks I was leaving him behind. Kashton has abandonment issues. But don’t we all? A Lord grows up in a family with more power than God, yet we’re literally alone. Kashton and Saint are the only people I can count on, and although I don’t remember how he found me practically dead, I know for a fact that I’d never leave them. Not willingly.
“That’s better,” Saint says happily, spinning the naked guy around to face him.
I give them my back and head up the elevator to my room. I’m not in the mood for that shit today. Coming up to the birdcage—the floor we all share—I scan my thumb for my room and enter, slamming it shut. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I look down at my wrist. You can’t see the scar because I have it covered with ink. I know it’s there even though I can’t remember how I got it.
“HAIDYN?”
I hear my name shouted, but it seems to be far away.
“Haidyn! What the fuck did you do?” Again, with the annoying voice, but it sounds so familiar. “Come on, man.”
I just want to sleep. I’m so tired. All of a sudden, it feels like the world is shaking, or maybe it’s me.
“Goddammit, Haidyn. Why did you…” It sounds like they’re walking away, or maybe I’m finally falling asleep.
It doesn’t matter. Either way, I finally have peace and silence.
That foggy memory of Kash finding me was years ago. It was after Ashtyn ran, and we finished our six months of “training.” The Lords thought they broke me, but I assure you, they didn’t. You can’t dish out punishment and not expect to receive it in return.
The professionals say the mind blocks traumatic experiences on purpose. I say it chooses to forget what isn’t important. Who knows which one is actually correct.
It doesn’t matter to me, just the Lords. They will take you out for betraying your oath, but if you want to take yourself out…that’s a different story. They don’t like you having any sort of control over your own life.
They own you.
You live for them, and you die for them.
As if I’d give them the satisfaction of killing myself. I’m just not that kind of Lord. I like making others suffer. And if that means staying alive, then I’ll do anything to make that happen.
Getting to my feet, I enter my adjoining bathroom. I yank my shirt up and over my head and toss it to the floor. Reaching down, I undo my jeans, but my eyes catch sight of myself in the mirror.
I look like shit. I have dark circles around my eyes, and I look like I haven’t slept in days. I haven’t, but that’s beside the point.
They want me to give my secrets to the pretty brunette. Want me to spill my insecurities and shortcomings so they can use them against me. That’s what the Lords do. They use anything they can against you. I won’t do it.
She’ll give up eventually. Probably quicker than the others have. She seemed innocent. A few comments about fucking her ass and making her cry will get her to run away.
If not, then I’ll up my game. I’m always up for a challenge.
TEN
ANNABELLE
Ilie in the darkly lit room with a towel over my eyes. The sound of the waterfall to my left is soothing. Today is my take care of me day. Once every two weeks, I get a massage, facial, and an IV for rehydration therapy.