Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 86068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“No.” She looks up, and I see that her green eyes look almost blue in the sun. Grabbing myself a bottle of water, I walk back out to her.
“Here you go.” I hand her the beer, her finger grazing mine as she grabs it. Her hair blows in her face from the breeze as she tucks it behind her ear.
“Thank you,” she says as I turn around and grab a chair to sit at instead of going to sit next to her on the bench. I sit down facing her, giving me a full view of her.
I put my ankle on my knee, holding up my bottle of water. “To loop de loops.” She throws her head back and laughs at that. She’s wearing a loose white tank top, so I can see her whole neck. I have this image flashing in my head of me sitting next to her with my arm around her shoulders, leaning in and kissing her on her neck. I blink twice to make the image leave my brain.
“To loop de loops.” She holds up her beer and takes a sip. “Are you not having a beer?” she asks when she sees me take a sip of my water.
I shake my head. “I don’t drink,” I admit, and I wait for it. For the questions that always come after I declare I don’t drink. Why don’t you drink? What happened? Are you in AA? You can have one drink? How come? I brace myself for what comes next. Waiting. But instead of asking me the questions, she just nods her head at me, rendering me speechless and in shock. “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”
Beatrice gets on the bench next to her and lies down, putting her head on Vivienne’s leg. Vivienne’s hand comes to rub Beatrice’s head. “Why would I ask you why?” She tucks one of her legs under her other.
“Because it seems everyone does.” For the first time, I’m honest about things. I never had the balls to say what I wanted to say. Always guarded in what I said. It took lots of therapy to make me be okay with speaking my mind. It took months of therapy to realize that what I wanted to say mattered. It also went against everything I had said to myself while I played hockey. Their motto: hide everything. At the end, I was even hiding myself.
“Well,” she says, taking another sip of the cold beer. “I figured if you wanted me to know why you weren’t drinking, you would have said, ‘no, I don’t drink because…’ and then you would have given me your reason.” She looks at me, her hair flying again in the wind. I can’t help but wonder how her hair would feel between my fingers. Just the thought makes my stomach tighten and my heart speed up. “But you didn’t, so it means that you aren’t going to share. Which means it’s none of my business.”
“Just like that?” I ask her. This whole thing has put me on edge and pushed me out of the bubble I’ve created for myself in the last two years. A bubble that consisted of four people. Beatrice. Shelly, my therapist, Steven, my friend and co-captain, and Miles, my agent. A bubble that my therapist wanted me to expand. A bubble I wasn’t ready to expand, or perhaps I was. Maybe this was a sign to make another friend. Or it could have also been the sign I didn’t need another friend and was fine the way I was.
“Just like that,” she confirms as she takes another sip of the beer. “How was the water today?” Her eyes light up just a touch more when she asks me.
“Calm. It was a gorgeous day.”
I don’t know what to say to her, and it looks like she’s uncomfortable also. She puts the half-drunk bottle of beer down on the table and looks down at Beatrice. “I’m going to go now, pretty girl.” She gets up, and Beatrice just looks at her. “Thank you for the beer.” She points at the bottle on the table. “I’m going to head out. Spending the day with my family is exhausting,” she says, and I wonder if I should get up and walk her to her boat, but my body feels like cement.
“They looked like they were having fun,” I say of her family. I spent way too much time googling and then trying not to think about it.
“They did.” She chuckles. “My father thought he recognized you.” The minute she says the words, my whole body goes tight. The burning sensation starts to climb up the back of my neck. My stomach contracts, and then the lump starts to form in my throat. My ears suddenly fill with the sound of my heart beating ridiculously fast. My hands start to get clammy. “Don’t worry, he thinks he knows everyone.” She gets on her boat, giving me one last smile before she walks in and shuts the door.