Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39161 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39161 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
“I’m so sorry, Mom,” I said as a tear tracked down my cheek. “I know how much you and Dad love me and knew you would worry. I don’t know why I plowed on without even talking to you guys about what was going on.”
“Honey, Jax explained it. And I get it, baby. I do. What I hate is that I didn’t make you feel like you could come to me or your father about stuff like this. We’ll always have your back and take your concerns seriously. Wrath would have been happy to check into this guy for you. I hope you know that.”
“I do. But I also know Dad. He’d have sent an army with me, but only as far as the nearest black site he knew of to interrogate and torture Chris. Then they’d have packed me and Andrea up and carted us home.” I winced as I said Andrea’s name and a fresh flood of tears slid from my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
“No.” I was firm in my denial. “Don’t feel sorry for me about Andrea. She played me. I was blinded by my loyalty to her and never once considered she was doing something shady with Chris.” I shook my head. “I don’t even know for sure either of them was doing anything. I mean, we suspected, and I know Jax got Chris’s phone data to Shotgun, but everything else is just speculation right now.”
“We can talk about this after you get a shower. I know you’re a grown woman and I’m not trying to baby you, Holly, but I’d feel better if I was in here with you in case you fall.” Mom gave me a small, unsure smile, and I knew she needed this. She was right that I didn’t want my mother to be in the bathroom with me while I showered, but having company in my bathroom was a small price to pay to ease my mother’s worry. God knew she’d worried enough about me over the years.
“Thanks, Mom. It’s probably best to have someone close. I’m dirty, hurt, and exhausted. Not taking a shower isn’t even an option, and a bath would be gross.”
“I love you, baby.” She was tearful but smiling. “I’m so glad you weren’t seriously hurt. You’re my world.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I looked at the floor and took a breath. “Are you…” I looked back up at her, needing to see her immediate reaction to my question. “Will you be OK with me and Jax being together?”
I needn’t have worried. Mom had always liked Jax. Especially when she’d seen him interact with me when I was so sick. “Holly, I’ve known since you were in your teens you’d claim that man for your own. I hated it when you were that young, but he kept you at arm’s length. Probably for that very same reason. He was a man. You were a teenager. Jax is many things, but he’s not a creep. He was never anything but appropriate with his care of you. He’s had my respect for a very long time, Holly. So yeah. I’m going to be fine with it.” When my mother genuinely smiled, there was nothing more beautiful. She’d always been that way. It wasn’t so much her looks as her inner light. My mother had walked through hell and back when I was sick. She’d done anything she had to, to make sure I had the medical care I needed.
“It’s important to me that you approve. Dad too. I… Sometimes, I think with my heart too much. Living in the moment is something I guess is ingrained in me after being so sick as a kid. I never subscribed to the mentality that if a guy picked on you, then he liked you. But when Jax picked on me, it was never malicious or hurtful. He was trying to get a rise out of me. Looking back, I know it was his way of distracting me. He’d do it over and over until I cried.”
Mom gasped, a look of horror on her face. “He did what?”
“No! Mom! It’s not like that!” I took Mom’s hand in mine and gripped it hard. “Jax knew that, once I started crying, it was time to stop picking at me because I’d gone past the point of any kind of distraction being able to hold me together. He knew that, when I stopped fighting him, I was ready to be held. And that’s what he did.”
I was afraid Mom might not believe me or accept my explanation, but my description was accurate. And it was exactly how it had to be. I’d never have surrendered to Jax. I couldn’t let him beat me. Jax knew what I could accept. He and Fury and Noelle had been the ones to teach me that even strong fighters get tired. Your muscles need a brief rest period after intense contraction when working hard. Your mind was the same way. Both needed a brief rest occasionally, and sometimes my body quit before my mind could. He called the times when he had to hold me “end of round two” since there were typically three rounds in an MMA fight. Noelle had been a fighter and Fury her trainer. Jax learned it from them, and held me to it the best way he could.