Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39161 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39161 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
This time, our tongues danced together, exploring each other in a slow, rhythmic waltz. It was a sweet longing and surrender, of promises and a possession so acute, I had to keep myself from growling. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her.
Her hands threaded into my thick hair, gripping the strands in an almost spasming hold. She returned the kiss with equal passion and longing. I could almost believe maybe she felt the same way about me I felt about her. Did she? Could she see me as something other than an annoying, overprotective older brother? Because I stopped seeing her as my little sister years ago.
When I pulled back this time, Holly grunted her displeasure. I looked down into her upturned face to see her flushed cheeks and nearly glazed eyes. She seemed dazed, as if she couldn’t quite believe what had happened but wasn’t willing for it to end. At least, that’s what I hoped she was feeling. God knew I was.
“Jax.” She sighed my name, her eyes still wide and shocked. There was also what looked like a wildness blossoming inside her. I could see it plain as the nose on my face. One second she was simply dazed, the next she was locked on me. Like the prey had now become the predator. And, wouldn’t you know it, that show of aggression made me hard as fuck.
Chapter Six
Holly
I knew I didn’t want my first time with Jax to be like this. Not only did I want it to last longer than five minutes, but my dad would kill him and Jax wouldn’t lift a finger to defend himself. That didn’t stop me from imagining what it would be like. Jax at my back. Taking me like he’d die if he didn’t. I wasn’t ready for that, and now definitely wasn’t the time…
“Get that look off your face, girl. Your body can’t cash that kind of check.” Jax stared down at me, a stern look on his face. Unfortunately, I saw the primal interest in his eyes.
“Why? You’re thinking the same thing.”
“Yep. But if I show that kind of disrespect to you, your mother would never forgive me.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “And your father would kill me.”
“Who says it’s disrespectful when it’s what I want?” I put my chin up. The thought wasn’t as embarrassing as it probably should have been.
“Your dad says it’s disrespectful when, A, it’s our first time together, and B, when I haven’t given you a property patch yet. Not saying I always agree with him on that, but with regard to you?” He chuckled and shook his head. “His opinion is the only one that counts.”
I opened my mouth to argue, then realized how stupid it would sound. “You know, you’re right. Not sure why I even thought about arguing the point.”
“Good. Because once we get home, you and I need to have a conversation. Then, what you and me do willingly, in the privacy of our own home, ain’t none of anybody’s Goddamned business.”
There was no way to stop the smile from curling my lips when I felt like anything other than smiling. Anger. Sadness. Pain. Even grief. Jax had always had a way of making me smile even through all the chemo treatments and tests after my leukemia was in remission. If he couldn’t make me laugh or smile, he pissed me off. Well, until he figured out it was easier to piss me off sometimes. When he did that, I toughed it out to spite him. It was over before I knew it.
“There’s my girl. My little Holly Sweetness.” Jax pulled me closer, wrapping me up in his arms tightly. There was no way for me to not snuggle into him. There were very, very few times in my life when I let him hold me like this. All of it revolved around being sick in one way or another. Only when I was at my very end did I allow it, and during those times, Jax was the only one I wanted.
“Did you know how much I needed you? When I was sick, I mean.” I spoke softly, barely able to get the words out at all. “Sometimes.”
“Yeah, baby. I didn’t really understand it back then, and it was different than it is now, but yeah. I knew.”
I trembled in his arms but clung so tightly I was afraid he’d call me out on how shaky I was. Then, to my utter horror, tears started to leak from my eyes in steady streams. I wanted to let him hold me, to use him as a human shield to hide me from the rest of the world like I used to when I was small. Jax deserved better than me using him, though. I wasn’t going to sound like a wuss when I confessed my feelings though.