Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 26698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
My gaze drops to his neck, which is mostly hidden by a small white block of material surrounded by the collar of his black shirt. “But you still wear your clerical collar, and you still help people.”
“Aye,” he says with a nod. “I want to help, but also, I took a vow.”
This piques my interest, not for the reasons he thinks it does, though. “So, does that mean you’ll never get married, or be with someone?”
“Never say never, darlin’,” he tells me, nudging me with this shoulder. “But whatever is botherin’ ye, it’s best to talk it out. Tell him what it is ye’re worried about, and he’ll understand.”
“But what if it’s so bad that he can’t find it in his heart to listen and take in what I’m saying? There are things I should have told him when he found me in the bar. I’ve lived in fear for years, and yet, this makes me more afraid than I’ve ever been.”
I haven’t fully admitted what I’m talking about, so Rev can’t know I’ve betrayed myself and Sully. But he also won’t be able to guess that Sully isn’t just a stranger to me. It’s been years, but I know him. A chance meeting far too long ago has ensured I’m here for a reason, and that bitch is called Fate.
At first, I thought I was going crazy when I saw him in rehab on the other side of the world, but then again, it’s not so far-fetched because I knew he was Irish.
“We all go through challenges, Clover,” Rev tells me. “There are choices we all have to make in our lives. Some are easier than others. If ye’re forced to do somethin’ ye don’t want ta do, then it’s not yer fault. Do ye get me?”
“So you’re saying because I have no choice in the matter, he’ll understand?”
This time, I look over at Rev. He’s just as nice as Sully. Friendly, open, and he’s willing to offer an ear to listen and advice.
I’m truly saddened I didn’t call them when I got out of rehab. If I had, perhaps the war that’s coming wouldn’t have been imminent.
“Who knows,” Rev says. “All ye can do is try. Most of us are in the same boat. Each day comes as a challenge, and it’s up to ye how ye deal with it. Do ye want ta tell me what’s botherin’ ye?”
I look out over the blazing fire and watch as Sully finishes his drink. He’s going to come to me now, and I’m going to have to tell him.
Casting a glance at Rev, I shake my head. “I think he should be the one to know first.”
“Fair enough, lass,” he says as he pushes to his feet. “I’ll catch ye soon.” I watch as Reve walks off. I’m not sure how much older than Sully he is, but I’d guess a couple of years at least.
“Are ye all right, all the way over here?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to get in the way. I think I’m going to head back.”
I’ve once again chickened out. More because I don’t want this man to hate me. I don’t want to see what he looks like when he’s angry. And deep down, I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.
“I’ll take ye home,” he says. “No debate,” he adds quickly before I can argue with him.
I know I won’t get my way, so I let it be. And as we say our goodbyes, Monster looks at me, his eyes narrow for a moment.
He leans in to give me a hug and whispers, “Don’t hurt him.” Then he steps back and offers me a smile and a nod.
It’s a warning. I’m pretty sure the man can see through my mask. He can see the lies, or he can smell them because I’m wearing them like fucking perfume. Either way, I know that even if Sully forgives me for my lies, the rest of his family won’t. And I know I can’t ever blame them for it.
I’ve made my bed, and now I have to sleep in it.
TWELVE
SULLY
Never in my wildest dreams did I think life would come to this. I was happy on my own. Mostly. But as I look out over Belfast, I realise I wasn’t truly living. I hid behind the violence—I basked in it. There is more to my existence than the club. I could have her in my life forever.
But then I remember what I do for the Royal Bastards. I shoulda chosen to be a 1%er. It would have been an easy life, not tied down to anything or anyone. I can’t walk away from Monster now. We’ve been mates for far too long. Perhaps it’s time for me to decide. Maybe having a life here in Ireland with the family I’ve come to love is what I should be thinking about.