Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 29494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
“No, I don’t do that shit anymore, Josie.” I can tell my question bothered him.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. You know I never judged.” I actually thought it was sweet; he tried to do whatever he had to so that he and his sister had a roof over their heads.
He might have gone about it the wrong way, but Mick’s heart was always in the right place. He was always so different from other boys, but I suppose Mick isn’t a boy any longer.
“I know,” he says, and the silence stretches. I have so many questions I want to ask him about his life now, but I stick to the reason he’s calling. “Are you going to tell me about this mistake?”
I wish he’d called because he wanted to check in or, heck, to hear my voice, but I’d told him it was for the best that we have limited contact. He needs to stay focused. More than anything, I didn’t want him finding out about my life falling apart because then he’d be back here. He made it out of this place, and he doesn’t need me and my problems dragging him back down.
I also hoped that the feelings I had for him would fade away given some space. That line of thinking backfired on me big time. If anything, they’ve gotten worse. I know people can be homesick, but I didn’t know you could be someone sick because that’s what this is starting to feel like. And the more my life falls apart, the worse it gets.
“Tell me about your day first.” Is he stalling? I wish he would just rip the Band-Aid off and tell me about this mistake he made. As much as I want to talk to him, I know when the call ends, I’ll be miserable.
“Why?” I force a laugh just to keep things light.
"I just want to hear you talk for a minute. It reminds me of home.”
Mick’s homesick, and I’m just sick for him. I need to get myself together. Stop focusing on things I can never have. That’s why I keep ending up where I am.
“Think your sister might be better for that,” I point out, trying to keep my hurt from showing.
“Jojo.” When he uses the stupid nickname he’d call me sometimes to irritate me, I melt. I used to despise him for calling me that. Now I want to hear him say it more.
“Not much happened.” I go through my day, telling him a few small things about work and then about a new video game coming out that everyone is dying to play. “They asked me to beta it.”
“Damn, really?” Mick perks up at that. I can’t help but smile. He always got excited for anything I did, no matter how small. Mick would always make a big show out of it.
“Yeah.”
“So how’d it go?”
“Oh, I didn’t do it.” I can’t hide my disappointment.
“Why not?”
I wanted to. It would have paid well. Enough to get me out of the hole I’m currently in and maybe out of this shit building.
“It was a whole deal with streaming and an event, and you know how that goes.” It’s such bullshit, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m starting to think maybe I should put my focus somewhere else.
“People still fucking with you?” he growls out, making me smile. It’s nice to think of someone having my back, but the reality is he’s across the country, and I’m all alone with one stalker too many already. The last thing I can do right now is show my face.
“It is what it is.” I sigh.
It might be different if I could have some form of security, but I live too out in the open. Shitty part is I need the work to be able to get that protection, but I can’t take the work because I don’t have it. I’m in a hamster wheel, and as much as I hate it, I might have to get off.
“It should be. There has to be a way to–”
“We’re here about your problem, not mine,” I remind him. “And this mistake.” Mick curses under his breath.
We’d gotten sidetracked from the reason for his call. It's not surprising; this is the way it always was when he and I would get together. We’d lose track of time, talking. I need to keep reminding myself that things are different now.
“I’m getting to it, Jojo.” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s frustrated.
“Well, move it along.” I know I’m being a jerk, but it’s the only way to protect myself. I need to keep this as short as possible. I swear it’s like a double-edged sword. Not talking to him kills me, and talking to him only makes me miss him more.