Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
He never had been.
“I know,” I whispered.
Ezra moved into my space and lifted my chin. “Hey, none of that is important. You should be happy too. This weekend is a huge success.”
He was right. I should be happy. Everyone got what they wanted, including me.
But I wasn’t happy at all. I was angry and sad and hurt, and I wasn’t sure I had a right to any of those emotions. This felt dangerously like a warped version of ancient history repeating itself.
“Yes, well…thank you for everything. I appreciate what you’ve done.” I blinked back tears and pointed at the exit. “I should get out there and…do my thing.”
Ezra grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest. “Hey, don’t do that. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is cool. We’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.”
I clandestinely swiped at my cheeks as I pushed away. “I think we both know that’s not true.”
I grabbed my backpack and speed-walked through the park with my head down, determined to make a quick escape. I had no intention of “going back out there.” I wanted to go home and lick my wounds in private. I was no actor. I couldn’t pretend I was okay when I was as far from okay as I’d been in almost a decade.
The bustling crowd provided the cover I needed to reach the parking lot. I pulled my keys out, stopping in my tracks at the tangle of vehicles blocking my Honda. My early-morning prime spot was the worst spot in the middle of the afternoon. I couldn’t get into my car, let alone move it.
I stared helplessly at my trapped vehicle and sucked in a shaky breath, then another. And another. My hands trembled and my pulse went into overdrive.
Oh, no. Not now. Not now.
Sweat dripped from my brow to my cheeks. Or maybe those were tears. I couldn’t tell. I covered my nose and mouth and tried to get my breathing under control, but I was losing the battle quickly.
Relax, it’s okay. Relax, it’s—
I started when a firm hand squeezed my shoulder.
“This way, Holden. I’ll give you a ride.” Tommy smiled kindly and pointed toward the street.
I followed him, unthinking. He didn’t ask why I was leaving or why I was freaking out. That was probably weird, but I was too relieved to care that he might suspect something was wrong. ’Cause everything was wrong, and I didn’t know how to explain it.
Tommy didn’t say a word. We drove across town in silence until he pulled into our driveway.
“Thank you,” I choked out.
“No problem. If you give me your keys, Noah and I can bring your car home later.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I inclined my head and reached for the door handle. “I can do it. I just…um, need a few minutes to—”
“Holden, can I ask you something?” he intercepted.
I picked up my backpack and clutched it to my chest. “Y-yes.”
“Are you and Ezra—”
“No.” More shaking, more sweating. I had to get inside.
“Take a moment to breathe. Do you have water?”
“Yes.” I unzipped my bag and pulled out a water bottle, but my hands were too clammy to open it.
Tommy undid the cap, then took his glasses off and cleaned them on the hem of his tee. It was no use warning him that it would only smudge them more. It was a habit. Sort of like comforting each other in hard times had become a habit for us.
“It’s okay, you know.”
That was when the first tear fell. I swallowed hard and wiped my nose with my sleeve. “It’s over and Ezra’s leaving soon and…that’s all. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t mean to lie.”
“You didn’t lie, Holden. You just needed time to process something new.”
“No. We’re roommates and best friends, and I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
“I knew.”
I snapped my gaze to his. “How?”
“Noah guessed a while ago. He notices things. He thought your sparring matches were sweet when no one else did. He said you’d both stare at each other when one of you wasn’t looking and it was…gooey. His words, of course.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and stared at the house. “Well, I don’t know about that, but it’s over.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because it was momentary madness. He’s still Ezra…and I’m still me. His real life is about to start in a new place in a different city. It was never supposed to work. And it won’t. I’ve been here before, Tommy. I know how this ends.”
Tommy shook his head slightly. “No offense, Holden, but you don’t know. Don’t let the old stories dictate new ones.”
“That’s sound advice, but I don’t think it applies here. He’s not going to be part of my story.”
Tommy was the first to claim that “feelings” conversations weren’t his forte, so I was almost surprised he didn’t agree with me and let it go. He twisted in his seat and fixed me with a curious look.