Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
I shrug. “You know that’s normal. The reason we escaped it was because our first two songs were hits and weren’t a concept from the company.”
Rae runs his hands through his thick hair and snatches one of the black beanies from the table. “I know, I know, it just, it kills me sometimes. We’re friends with so many groups and I thought at least our own Juniors would respect us, and while most do now, we still have the leader holding out.”
“Maybe,” I grab the marshmallows. “Theres a reason why, have you ever asked?”
“I don’t particularly like being yelled at so no, but maybe I should.”
“Maybe.” I agree, looking out at the bonfire by our own pool. “Let’s go bond.”
What takes place next, I’m so thankful never actually ends up on camera because one shot goes to two, goes to three, and the entire TestME group challenges us and I think at one point Lucas got naked, all I know is I laughed really hard.
And I fell asleep with a calm smile on my face not knowing… just not knowing, that it would be the last smile I’d have for quite a while.
***
Our phones won’t stop going off, I don’t know what our call time is, I’m struggling to even see straight at this point when I get a call from Siu, and then another, and another.
The hell?
“Fuck.” Eric throws his phone on the grass. “Fuck, take his phone, take his phone!”
I don’t have time to react as almost every member of both group lunge for me—all except Rae.
Rae’s staring at his phone like he’ll never look away even being held at gunpoint. I avoid everyone running at me and stumble toward him only to look over his shoulder and see the damning evidence.
Me and his sister making out.
Me and his sister.
Last night.
On the biggest gossip news outlet in Korea which means it’s going to spread far and wide throughout every other news channel, blog, entertainment website.
People don’t have her identity yet, but they will, the Netizens always have a way to find things out and the only reason Rae knows is because in the photo she’s wearing the cross bracelet he gave her last year for her birthday. I helped him pick it out and he was so surprised I knew her well enough to pick out a gift that made he cry. It’s dangling by my head, her arms are wrapped around me.
“New bad boy of K-pop?” Is the headline. The next one is. “Dirty little Maknae kissing all the girls.”
I can’t find my voice.
It simply no longer exists.
Who filmed us? What happened? We were careful! All the things I’m thinking in my head that I can’t voice out loud. I’ve had panic attacks before, this is way worse, this is world ending, this is me dying from the inside out knowing Rae had to find out this way, and that I have nothing to say other than I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry I thought I had it handled.
I stand and back away slowly only to collapse onto the grass and it’s not even my own bandmates that come at me first. It’s Chul, it’s Eric, it’s Suho, they’re all surrounding me as if it’s going to make it better. Ji-Woo and Kwan follow, Kwan actually steps in front of me, I’m delirious. I don’t know what to say. I’m in absolute shock.
Rae jumps to his feet and turns to me. “Why?”
It’s a simple question.
I have only one answer to give. “I love her.”
“How long?” Tears stream down his face.
I betrayed him.
I snuck around him.
And it wasn’t for days or months, it was for years.
I squeeze my eyes shut while Eric grips my wrist then holds my hand while the rest of SWT just sit there because they knew and they know they’re just as screwed, that I screwed them because I wasn’t careful.
We’re done.
Our group is done.
We will never come back from this moment.
I feel like I’m going to throw up.
“We met before we knew you were siblings---we kissed years ago, we’ve been close ever since, we confessed days ago—” My stomach sinks to lead. “We tried to stay away from each other I just, I couldn’t, she’s my soul mate.”
Rae throws his phone into the fire and walks off. “Always the last to know.” He turns and looks at me, he’s so furious I can barely look at him. “Did you ever think, that maybe the right choice would be to talk to me before you got caught?”
“We knew.” Lucas steps forward. “We warned him. It’s not just on him.”
Kai sighs. “It’s on us too.”
Rae looks at Jay. “And you?”
Jay hangs his head. “I knew.”
“I see.” Rae starts walking. “Then maybe the best thing for this group is a better leader since I can’t fix shit.”