Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
It was. She knew that because she’d bought it for him. “Well, it didn’t work on the guy I originally planned to use it on. He looked me over and called me a weirdo and told me to put my jeans back on.”
“We were going hiking.” His jaw clenched. “Lou, I can’t change the past. I can’t go back and say all the things I should have said. I don’t think it would have worked, but it’s clear to me that you’re going to pay me back. That’s why you put on that dress. That’s why you rolled out of bed with me and got gorgeous and put on heels and did your makeup for another man.”
“I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to spend the night with you, and I certainly didn’t cheat on you.” Frustration clawed at her. She was in a corner and not sure how to get out. “I made it clear I was going to date. I told you back in Australia, and you didn’t have a problem with it then.”
“I didn’t have to watch it then,” TJ admitted. “I assure you if you’d showed up at my sister’s party in a couple of days with some asshole holding your hand, I would have had a reaction.”
She wasn’t so sure about that, but she could go down this road with him. “So you only want me if someone else has me. How does that work? Do you dump me the minute you lock the relationship down? Do I have to find other men to tickle all your jealousy bones so you stay interested?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” TJ argued. “I’m saying I finally saw a different side to you, and it made me realize our relationship can work, that it’s worth risking our friendship over. I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re not risking anything at all because we were meant to be together in every way possible.”
If only he’d said those words to her even six months ago. “So I kill a dude and you get horny. That’s an interesting fetish.”
His eyes closed briefly, and she saw the frustration there when he opened them again. “You are twisting every word I say.”
“And you are treating me like a cheating girlfriend when I’ve been clear that we are not together.” She hated this. Hated arguing with him, but she had to stand up for herself. “You don’t get to ignore me most of our lives and then snap your fingers and get everything you want.”
“Ignore you?” TJ asked, utterly incredulous. “I’ve never once ignored you. I refused to kiss you twice because I wasn’t ready. I know that hurt, but you don’t get to rewrite history because I hurt your ego.”
She pushed her chair back because she wasn’t listening to this. “You don’t have to worry about our friendship. I think you just killed it.”
He was on her before she could reach the door. “And you just proved everything I was afraid of. You proved I was right. The first time I do something that you’re not happy with, you want to walk away.”
“I assure you it’s not the first time, but it is going to be the last.”
“Years, Lou. Over a decade of being friends and you want to throw it all away because I hurt your feelings? I love you,” TJ said in an aching tone. “I can adore you on every level, but I’m human. I’m still going to hurt you. If we’d gotten together as kids, you would have been waiting for me to leave. It would have eaten you up because worrying is what you do, and it would have been a self-fulfilling prophecy and then we wouldn’t be here.”
What he was saying wasn’t exactly untrue. She remembered how insecure she’d been during those years. She’d tried to hide it, but she’d been waiting for everything to fall apart. It was kind of what she did. Years and years of watching her mom walk a knife’s edge first with her bio dad, and later with his micromanaging parents. Boomer Ward had given them stability and love, but it was hard to forget the lessons those early years had taught her. “And you don’t think I would worry now?”
He moved in, forcing her to back up until she was against the wall. “I know how to handle you now. I know how to make you stop thinking and focus on what’s real.”
Her heart rate ticked up because he was so close she could feel the heat coming off him. “Sex. You’re talking about sex.”
He stared down at her, every brush of his body a reminder of what had happened between them before. And a reminder that the act had been incomplete. “Yeah, baby, but it’s more than sex. I’m talking about focusing on you and me. I’m talking about shutting out the rest of the world and building a place that’s just for us.”