Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
But when it comes to Blake, I haven’t been in control of anything, especially not of how deeply my feelings have grown for him.
“I’m in love with him,” I say, but my words are so quiet that I almost can’t even hear them myself. So, I force myself to say it again. “I love him, Mom. I really love him. And I want to be with him.”
A soft, knowing smile crests her lips.
“But I guess you already figured all that out, huh?” I question, and a little laugh leaves her lungs.
“I had a hunch,” she says, still smiling. “But ultimately, you needed to be the one to decide.”
“I feel like I’ve messed everything up with him. And I know I hurt him. Really bad.”
“No, sweetheart.” She shakes her head and reaches out to hold my hand. “Don’t think like that. We all make mistakes. We all do things we regret. I think you just need to tell him how you feel. Tell him the truth, even the ugly parts of it. I think if you tell him all the things you just told me, he’ll understand.”
I have no idea if Blake will want to hear what I have to say. I have no idea if he’ll forgive me for all the things I’ve put him through over these past few weeks. It’s all an unknown, and while the fear of the unknown is something I absolutely loathe, I’m determined to suck it up and face it head on.
I have to. Plain and simple. Blake deserves that much from me.
He deserves everything, because time and time again, that’s exactly what he’s given me.
Instantly, I get an idea and grab my phone to send a text.
Me: Are you busy tomorrow? I need your help with something.
Her text comes in a moment later.
Scottie: Name the time and place, and I’ll be there.
I don’t know if Blake still wants to be with me, but I know I want to be with him.
And I’m going to do everything I can to show him just how much.
Saturday, August 30th
Blake
“This is our house! This is our year! And Georgia is the first stop on the road to our championship! Let’s do this!” Coach Gordan shouts at the top of his lungs, finishing his speech off with a bang.
The locker room goes wild, most of my teammates jumping up and down and hooting and hollering as they high-five and chest-bump one another. And I grab my mouthpiece and helmet from my locker and give myself a mental pep talk.
Focus, you motherfucker. It’s game time.
The coaching staff leads our team toward the tunnel, and I follow like a dutiful soldier.
For the last week, all my mind has wanted to think about is a certain beautiful blond girl who broke my goddamn heart. It’s taken every ounce of willpower I have not to reach out to her. Not to text her or call her. Not to show up at her apartment. Hell, even though I know for a fact that she’s officially done with her doctorate program, I’ve been so tempted to make a pit stop at the Ferris Research Lab between my classes and practices just to see if she’s in there.
But I’ve managed to survive another seven days without her.
I’ve managed to eat and sleep and go to practice and classes.
I’ve managed it all, but I wouldn’t say I’ve done it well.
My head was in my asshole pretty much every practice, so much so that Coach Gordan asked me to come into his office after practice on Thursday to have an impromptu heart-to-heart. I didn’t have the balls to tell him I’m a fucking love-sick fool who is missing the girl of his goddamn dreams because she told him to move on.
Instead, I made some excuse of having issues with migraines, but I tried to lift his spirits by telling him I’m feeling a lot better. He made me see our team physician, and once I got the all clear, Coach Gordan didn’t look like someone pissed in his Cheerios anymore.
And even though, on the inside, I feel like absolute dog shit, I refuse to drag my teammates to the depths of hell with me. They deserve better than that. They deserve for me to stay focused and have the kind of mental clarity that wins football games.
And this game is an important one.
Today marks the official kickoff of the Dragons’ football season. And while I haven’t officially set foot in the stadium yet, with the roars and cheers from the crowd echoing inside the tunnel that leads to the field, I’m certain we’re dealing with a full house.
Georgia is one of our biggest rivals, and while they aren’t the team we lost the championship to last year—fuck you, Buffalo—we need to win if we want to stand a chance at another championship opportunity.