Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 106600 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106600 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
“I’m even better when I have to rely on only human methods.”
“This I have to see.”
“We have centuries for you to learn all the ways I plan to love on you, my pretty one.”
“There you go again. I still haven’t had a chance for that to sink in. A month ago, I hadn’t planned anything past the next day. Now you are speaking in centuries.
“What does that look like to you? I mean, will I age? I couldn’t possibly keep my career if I’m not going to age.”
“You won’t age, but you can use your magic to make it seem like you have. It is my hope that you won’t want to be an officer forever. Especially once we begin to have children of our own,” he says.
I look down at my plate and allow my thoughts to race. Do I love my career? I love the idea of finally placing cuffs on Candido and seeing him behind bars.
Do I have it in me to give it all up once that’s done? What would I do with my time? Children?
Feeling vulnerable at the thought of children, I allow Ardan into my thoughts. I allow him into my feelings as a child. I allow him to see why I’ve never thought about being a mom.
“My love, you will be a wonderful mother. You nor I will ever leave our little ones without us. They will be loved and protected. If you think my brothers would allow a child of mine to live without love and protection, you have lost your mind.
“Our community will also be there. If there is ever a reason we can’t be there, know, without a doubt, they will be covered.”
“I get that, and I hear what you’re saying, but they would be my kids, my responsibility, mine to protect. I don’t ever want them to feel like I don’t want them or I’m not there for them.”
“In time, you will see how powerful you are and how long your life will be. You will have the power to protect and care for our offspring.
“I have seen your heart. It’s not in you to abandon our children. Nor will I abandon them or you. You can put those fears to rest, Billy. Let me be your safe place.”
Tears fill my eyes. I let my guard down a little more. I knew I was damaged, but I’ve never thought of how damaged I truly am.
That fucking Candido did a number on me. I’m terrified of failing as a mother. So much so, I’ve never thought of having children of my own.
In all honesty, I’ve avoided serious relationships because of it. I want Candido to feel what I felt as a small child. Then I might be able to heal.
The need to avenge my sisters and me grows stronger by the second. That feeling in the pit of my stomach comes to life and begins to pulse. Ardan gets this strange look on his face as the feeling grows.
“What?” I ask.
“How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“I’m perfect. Thank you again, Ardan. Your words mean a lot to me. I have a lot to think about.”
“Take your time. I’m not rushing you to make any decisions tonight.”
I nod and turn back to the band as I allow my thoughts to work. Children? Can I be a good mom?
Training
“The greatest of our kind have mastered the arts of the trickster. You cannot be a true puppet master without understanding illusions,” my grandfather says in my ear as he walks around me.
We have been at this since I arrived. He hasn’t allowed me to contact anyone back home or to mind-link with Ardan or Kai. I have been frustrated, but I have committed to my training.
“Focus, Amadeus. It is in you. You will tap into great potential, my grandson. Trust me.”
“I am trusting you. I have done all you have asked.”
“You have, but you have not mastered the last task given.”
I sigh and close my eyes. As a merman, I haven’t used magic outside of the normal mermagic. What he is asking of me is outside of my scope of understanding.
I’m still working to harness this power he has asked me to awaken. My grandfather has had millennia to perfect these skills. He is asking me to do the same in a matter of a few months.
“You are too focused on your limitations. Limitations others have set upon you. Dig within, Amadeus. Reach for your power.
“Forget what you have been told. Who you think you should be and what power you think you should wield. Go beyond the expected. Don’t listen to what you’ve been told you can and can’t do,” he coaches.
I allow my body and mind to relax. He’s right; I have been in my head about what I’ve been led to believe I can do. The powers of the merpeople.