Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82893 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82893 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
As pinks and purples dance in the sky while the sun sets, I lean against the glass railing of the balcony outside Roman’s apartment that looks out over the city and Central Park. The sounds of the city are so loud I can hear them from way up here. And from this vantage point, it’s easy to feel completely detached from the chaos below as life plays out on the busy city streets.
It’s been six days since Roman and I arrived in New York, and I still can’t believe I’m here. I definitely haven’t adjusted to the life Roman lives, and I’m not sure how long it would take to think any of it is normal. Likely forever, if I’m honest.
Drawing in a breath, I turn toward the door and spot Roman in the living room, talking on the phone. He’s been gone most of the day and must have just gotten home. Not wanting to disturb him, I wander to one of the outdoor couches that center around a coffee table that doubles as a firepit and take a seat.
Tomorrow afternoon, Diana is scheduled to be released from the hospital, so Roman has been working on getting her nursing care since she’s stubbornly refused to go anywhere but home—her home. And while everyone else is frustrated by her decision, I’m just glad she’s okay and that Roman’s family doesn’t have to face another loss so shortly after losing Val.
Tucking my feet under me, I tip my head back to the sky, which is now a deep purple. It’s beautiful, but my mind is on the conversation I need to have with Roman. Earlier today, Kandi called to check in and confirm that I was still planning on going back to Wyoming to begin the process of packing up my mom's place and that I would be there for the closing.
It wasn’t something I had thought about in days, not with everything that’s been happening. But after that conversation, I was reminded that this life isn’t mine; it’s Roman’s. My life is still in limbo. I have no plans for the future, no job, no anything except Roman, and placing my life in his hands is not something I’m comfortable doing. Especially when I don’t even know what is happening between us. Sure, I know I’m important to him. He makes that obvious every day. But we’ve never talked about us in any long-term capacity.
There are only three things I know for certain right now and those are: I need to close on my mom’s property so I can pay off her bills, I need to finish the journey I started, and I need to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. The last one is the thing that keeps causing my stomach to twist into knots because I don’t know if that life will include Roman.
When I hear the glass door open, I lower my head and watch Roman step outside and walk toward me.
“Did you get everything sorted out for tomorrow?” I ask as he takes a seat next to me
“Yeah.” He rubs his hands down his face before letting his head fall back to the couch and turning my way. “They’re going to meet me at the house in the morning and make sure everything is set up so that the transition is smooth when Diana arrives.” His hand lands on my bare thigh. “I’m going to head over there a little earlier to clear out the dining room since that’s the easiest place for her to be right now.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“If you want.” He drags my feet over his lap. “What did you do today?”
“Laundry—after arguing with Clifford about doing my own because the housekeeper could do it.” That gets me a small smile. “I also started looking at flights.”
“Flights?” His brows drag together, and his hand that had been smoothing up the top of my foot tightens.
“I still have to go back to Wyoming, and with Diana out of the hospital, there isn’t a reason for me to push it off.”
“You can close on the property from here, and in a few weeks, when things settle, we can go to Wyoming together.”
The desire to give him what he wants is difficult to ignore, but giving him what he needs leaves me floating aimlessly.
“What about after those few weeks?”
“We’ll figure it out together when we get to that point.”
“I need to sort my life out.”
“And I get that.”
“But you don’t,” I whisper. “You have your life here—a house, a job, family. I don’t have any of that. What I do have are things left undone. I need to go back and close out that chapter of my past in Wyoming so I can move on and figure out what I’m going to do with my life.”