Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 214(@300wpm)
Once I’ve shrugged into the straps, I stare up at him. Rain streams into my face and creeps down into the neck of my shell as I stand there, desperately wanting to tell him that I feel the same way. I can’t stop dreaming about him, either. In fact, sometime in the past year, he’s become my biggest dream, even bigger than becoming a tattoo artist or competing on one of my favorite tattoo-themed reality shows someday.
That sure as hell scares me.
I’ve always been so independent. I changed my name when I was four years’ old, for fuck’s sake. I told my bossy, overbearing mother that I was “Binx” now, not Beatrice, and that I would no longer consent to wear clothes or go potty in the house until everyone in the family got on board. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down, but according to family legend, I stayed outside playing in the mud in the nude for four hours until Mom finally relented and coaxed me into a bath.
That’s who I am.
I’m a woman who is complete in myself, who knows my own mind, and who spent my childhood imagining I was the knight riding off on her horse to slay the dragon, not the princess waiting in her tower to be rescued. The idea that a man has become so central to my happiness is terrifying.
But it’s also beautiful. When I look at Seven, when our eyes meet, I know this is where I belong—with him, by his side, taking on the world together. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.
Now, I guess I have three days to make sure that, by the time we leave the forest, there’s no doubt in his, either.
Chapter 8
SEVEN
I’ve never been so grateful for rain stinging into my face and wind whipping around my ears. In the chaos of the storm, conversation is impossible.
Which is good.
I can’t talk to Binx right now, or I’ll say something else I shouldn’t, something that will dig this hole even deeper.
I shouldn’t have said any of the things I confessed to in the clearing. Nothing good will come from Binx knowing the way I really feel. There’s no way forward for us down that road. The only way to keep her in my life long term, is to snuff out the attraction I feel for her and bury it six feet under.
I can do that.
I have to do it, for Sprout if not for myself.
My little girl adores this woman. She needs Binx in her life as much as she needs her family. If I’m the reason she loses a friend who’s been such a source of comfort and support for her, the guilt will eat me alive. I don’t want to be that kind of parent, the selfish kind who doesn’t think about all the ways my actions affect my child.
I just need some time away from Binx, time to get my head on straight and distract my dick with a more age-appropriate woman.
And yes, she’s right, I should have asked for the time, not blocked her calls like a coward. But last night, I was too close to the edge to make rational decisions. I knew if I read one more text, I’d be on my way to her place to ruin our friendship forever.
If we sleep together, it’s over. I know that deep in my bones. I’m not the kind of man who easily transitions from lovers to friends. I’ve only tried it a few times, and it’s never gone well, not even with women I was casually dating.
There’s nothing casual about what I feel for Binx.
When I realized we were trapped out here, I was angry, sure, but only because I was concerned for her well-being. What if I don’t have enough food to get us through the next few days? What if she gets hurt on the trail, and I can’t get her to medical attention in time? Being able to protect the people I love is top priority for me, and anything that threatens that, drives me out of my fucking mind.
Then, once I realized she had nothing to do with getting us stuck in the middle of nowhere, the guilt hit full force.
If something happens to Binx because my mother and daughter are maniacs who have watched too many Hallmark romance movies, I’ll never forgive myself. She’s too precious to put at risk for any reason, but especially for a chance at happily ever after with me.
It would be more like happily never after—my relationship with my first wife taught me that. I loved Millie with an obsession that probably wasn’t healthy, yes, but that didn’t mean I knew how to give her what she needed.
She asked me a hundred times to take time off, to prioritize “quality time” with her and Sprout, but I couldn’t…especially back then. Millie couldn’t find work after Sprout was born and money was tight. Yes, we still had a little leftover at the end of each month, but not much, and our savings was a joke. All it would have taken was one illness or injury at work to lose the safety I’d worked so hard for.