Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
“Daddy!” Jayden cries, rushing toward Reece and cutting off the conversation.
I hate to admit it, god to I hate to admit it, but I’m always glad when Jayden is here because Reece will never do anything stupid when his son is around. It’s only when we’re alone that he likes to let me know exactly who’s in charge.
I shudder at the memories that I keep locked away tight in my brain. Memories that I never want to unleash, because they’ll crush my very essence. I’m stronger now, braver, and yet still so incredibly terrified of the man standing before me. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand, how you can be so afraid of one person. I could take Reece down, I’m sure I could, hell, I’m a cop, and yet every time it happens I find myself weak.
My therapist said I defend him, that I’m continually giving reasons for his behavior. We’ve been trying to work on that, trying to make things a little clearer for me so that I’m better able to stand up for myself, yet every time we take one step forward I find myself right back to where I started. Which is exactly why I ended it, because if he’s not here then I have no reason to make up continual excuses as to why I allow him to treat me so badly.
I took the first step, now I just have to keep moving forward.
“How are you, baby?” Reece asks, scooping Jayden into his arms and kissing him on the cheeks.
It’s things like this, the moments where he’s holding our son, or playing with him, or making him laugh, that have me so damned confused. They trick my mind because I see this beautiful side to the man I once loved oh so deeply. I see this great father who loves his son unconditionally and my mind tricks me by bringing back the memories of when he loved me that deeply. When Reece was good, he was amazing. He treated me like the princess I always wanted to be.
But when he was cruel, he was a god damned monster that crushed my soul.
I shake my head and look away from the two of them as I walk into the kitchen and place my purse down. Reece tells Jayden to go and get his toys to show him, and as soon as our beautiful son runs off, he approaches me in the kitchen. The best thing with Reece is to keep calm; when I’m calm he tends to not lose his temper. I turn slowly and give him a small smile. He looks handsome today, which doesn’t help.
It doesn’t help that my body immediately reacts to the man in front of me, like a desperate, broken vessel. It leads me to him, it begs for him, everything comes alive and all I want is to feel his mouth on mine. It’s a sick obsession that is so toxic it scares me. I need to create distance, I’m just not sure how to do that with Jayden around. One thing is for certain, I need to change my locks so he no longer has access to my house.
I need to set boundaries.
Ones that I’m firm on.
Ones that he simply cannot cross.
I’ll never move forward if I don’t.
“Who were those men, Zariah?” he asks, stepping up close, giving me the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body.
I grit my teeth, take a deep breath, and ask. “Why were you watching me?”
“I came to drop off some of Jayden’s things and saw you talking to them out front. I kept driving. I know they’re members of that biker club, what I want to know is why you’re hanging around them. Are you fucking one of them?”
Here we go.
“No, I’m not. One of their members is going through an investigation and I’m working on it. That’s literally it. They’re helping me because they don’t believe he’s guilty, and I’ve got full permission to work with them.”
Partial truth, partial lie.
It covers me, though.
“They’re a biker club, that’s not safe.”
“They’re not bad people, Reece. It’s part of my job. I’m not always going to deal with good people.”
He steps closer again and, this time, he leans down so his voice is a harsh whisper. “I don’t like you working with people like that. I don’t like your job. You know this. It’s dangerous, and I’m not happy about you dealing with members of a biker gang.”
“Firstly,” I say carefully, “it’s my job and it’s not changing. Secondly, we’re not together, Reece. We’ve broken up. I think it’s time we finalize that.”
He steps back, his face masked with anger and a little hurt, which bothers me. I hate seeing him hurt, yet at the same time I need to stand my ground. “You’re not giving me a second chance?” he asks, his voice raspy.