Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
"Is he safe here?" I ask, wondering who he feels the need to protect our son from.
"Yes," he answers swiftly, without hesitation. "I was waiting to make sure he didn't need anything. Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," I say, worried I may not like the therapist, but unsure if I have a right to voice my opinion. I know that's coming from trauma associated with my time under Damien's control.
I keep my eyes locked on the pretty blonde woman as I descend the stairs. She has her eyes down, locked on the screen of a tablet, but she quickly looks up with a soft smile when she hears us coming. My first instinct is to not like her at all. She's a few years younger than me, with silky blonde hair and bright blue eyes that probably have never seen any level of trauma or pain. She seems untouched by the evil things life has to offer to many of us. Maybe it's jealousy more than anything that I'm feeling.
Nolan gives her a smile, but I see that it doesn't reach his eyes, and I feel a little better somehow.
Was I worried he'd look at her and see someone who is screwed up from their past and be attracted to her?
I pull in a deep breath.
"Hi," she says as she stands and holds her hand out. "I'm Dr. Caitlyn Rudd. Feel free to call me Caitlyn. I'm not very formal. I'll ask Eli to call me Miss Caitlyn."
"Aspen Ga… Just Aspen," I offer, adding getting my name changed as soon as I get a chance to my laundry list of things needing to be done.
We shake hands and she dips her head down to indicate her tablet before speaking again.
"I was just getting Eli's profile set up. I use a digital filing system, but everything we speak about and his case notes are completely confidential."
I nod in understanding, unsure if what she just said even requires a verbal response.
"If we could go over a few questions I have before I meet with Eli, that would be great."
Nolan directs us to sit on the sofas.
"What are some of Eli's favorite toys to play with?"
I feel like the worst parent in the world because I don't know how to answer that question.
"I don't know," I tell her honestly. "I don't know how much you've been told, but I haven't had the chance to be a regular mother to Eli for years. There were... circumstances."
She gives me a soft smile, and I don't see a hint of judgment in her eyes at all. It makes me feel a little relief with my confession.
"That's okay. Kids are pretty good at letting us know what they like. Therapy with such a young child doesn't look like you may think it does. They aren't expected to come in and immediately start talking about their problems. They may not even realize they've suffered a trauma. Research has shown that a more playful approach helps. We'll play games and such, but there will be a therapeutic edge to all of it. This allows kids to feel safe, which in turn helps them to speak freely so we can get to the root of their issues."
"So we need to find out what his favorite toys are to make this work?" Nolan asks, as if he is rooted in solving problems he can physically take care of.
Caitlyn points to a bag to the right of the sofa she's sitting on. "I brought some basics, but I can provide a list of things that would help in therapy. It's good for him to play with the same things he does with me while he's with you guys. This way he can open up and speak to both of us."
"So his whole life is going to become a therapy session?" I ask, feeling overwhelmingly more like a failure.
I blow out a harsh breath, needing to take a moment. This isn't about me, but I don't want Eli to feel like he's always under a microscope.
"No," she says with an easy smile. "This isn't therapy for Eli. By that I mean he isn't going to see it as therapy. He's going to play, and we'll listen. I'll ask some questions that help us get to the root of his fear and trauma but it won't even resemble therapy. I may give him a broken toy to see how he deals with frustration, and we'll fix it together. Kids are super resilient in everything they do. We just need to find out what he feels like he's been missing and we can fill those holes."
"Okay," I answer.
"I'm ready to meet him if you guys are ready to move forward," she says with more patience than I think I've ever witnessed in my life.
"I'll go get him," I tell her.