Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
“Vodka straight, please, Lenny.”
The bartender poured my drink and placed it in front of me on the counter. “Haven’t seen you here in a while, Jake.”
“Just trying to stay out of trouble, I guess,” I said before throwing back the liquid courage. The vodka burned my throat as I downed half of it in one gulp.
Avoiding the bar had actually been quite intentional lately. My days with Ivy were always long ones. Because of my weeklong absences, I tried to make the most of my time with her. After leaving the group home on Saturdays, I usually went back to my sister’s for a late dinner of leftovers then slept. But occasionally, I’d hit the bar, and it usually ended up with my drinking too much. Waking up with a hangover on Sunday mornings when I had to return to Ivy’s was not ideal.
Lenny placed a second vodka in front of me even though I hadn’t asked for one. “A lot of guys would be just fine with your kind of trouble, pretty boy.”
He was clearly referring to the last time I was in here a few months ago when I left with an attractive blonde named Debra. She and a friend were the only two females in the bar that night and were being hit on by pretty much every single patron. At one point, this drunk dude was coming on too strongly, and Debra looked really uncomfortable. I walked over and pretended to know her, hoping to take his attention away. When he finally got the hint, she and I started talking and ended up getting along well. She was about ten years older than me and in the middle of a divorce. Like me, she said she wasn’t looking to get into a relationship but confessed that she hadn’t had sex with anyone since her marriage ended.
She asked me to have a night cap with her because her two kids were apparently with their father for the weekend. Debra ended up going down on me within the first two minutes after arriving at her apartment, and we had sex three times. She screamed so loudly when she orgasmed, they probably heard it at Fenway Park.
She kept begging me to fuck her again, saying no one had ever made her come the way I had. After that night, Debra wouldn’t stop calling and texting me. Even though I made it clear I wasn’t interested in getting involved with her, she insisted that she needed to see me again, basically doing a total one-eighty. That was the main reason I’d avoided coming back to the bar for so long since she only lived down the street, and I was sure she’d been back to look for me.
Briefly looking behind my shoulder, I shrugged. “Not interested in getting into any more trouble if you know what I mean, Lenny.”
Of course, the encounter with Debra was before Nina came into the picture. No other woman had entered my sexual consciousness since. Swirling the remainder of my drink around in the glass, my mind drifted to my roommate again as it typically did lately. I stayed lost in my thoughts for the better part of an hour before throwing a twenty down and exiting the bar.
The rest of that weekend was spent reflecting on the reality of my situation as it related to Nina. It was easier to think straight when we weren’t under the same roof. Even if I were to let something happen between us, it would all be a lie. She deserved better than a guy who wasn’t up front with her and could never fully be there for her. She deserved better than to be pursued by a married man. Despite the fact that she made me feel more alive than I probably ever had, it was becoming more necessary by the day to distance myself. It needed to start immediately. This was for her own good and ultimately, mine.
***
Demons by Imagine Dragons played on my iPod as the subway approached my stop back in Brooklyn. It was ironic because the lyrics described to a tee how I saw myself. I was hiding demons, sure, but if she looked closely enough at me, I felt like Nina should have been able to see that they were there. I often wondered why she never asked me what I did every weekend in Boston. It was as if she knew the answer was something she might not want to hear.
As I walked down Lincoln toward our apartment, I thought back to the same time one week ago and how excited I was then to be able to see Nina again. But after my rough weekend with Ivy and the epiphany I had, the approach home tonight was downright painful now that I’d made the decision to stay away from my roommate. The tutoring would have to be it, mainly because I didn’t know how to explain my way out of it.