Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
He didn’t have the same reaction to me. He seemed annoyed, even hostile. He shut the door behind him and blocked out the sounds of the kitchen and the chatter from the dining room. “What is it, Astrid?” His voice was deep like I remembered, like a hum buried in the wilderness. But it wasn’t warm with the blanket of affection he usually wrapped around me like a scarf. “Are you alright?”
I could launch into a long tale of my life over the last few weeks, but only a single word came out. “No.” The longing for him was like a tornado that nearly ripped my clothes from my body. I wanted to crumple into his arms and stay there forever. “You were right about everything. You had Bolton down to a T.”
Sympathy didn’t move into his eyes. They were still dark and inanimate like bullets. “I’m sorry.” He said the words, but there was no fire or sincerity to them. The phrase sounded the way it sounded coming from everyone else, like he was just saying it. “Why didn’t you just call me?”
“He deleted your number from my phone, and he’s watching my messages and phone calls.”
He gave a slow nod. “That’s rich.”
“When he went to work, he left his tablet behind…and I saw that he’d been seeing this woman for a long time. He made me feel like shit for being emotionally invested in you, but he did the exact same thing.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“So I decided to leave him, and—”
“Astrid.” His tone changed, turning clipped and annoyed, like he didn’t want to be there. “I don’t want to be a dick, but also I don’t want to waste any more of our time after we’ve already wasted so much.”
I nearly flinched at the callous statement.
“You picked him. You made that clear in no uncertain terms. I warned you about the kind of man Bolton was, and you didn’t believe me. I care for you deeply—always have and always will. But I won’t be second best. I won’t be the alternate choice.”
“You—you aren’t second best, Theo.”
“It seems that way. Now that you’ve finally run your marriage into the ground, you want to jump ship. But my ship has already sailed. I pursued you, not once, but twice—and there’s only one woman I’ve ever given that kind of effort. I want to be with a woman because I won her, not because the other guy forfeited.”
“Theo, I did choose you. I left him and wanted a relationship with you, and then you dumped me the next morning—”
“I’m so fucking tired of hearing that,” he snapped. “Yes, that happened, but lots of shit happened afterward.” He started to count on his fingers. “I apologized. I explained. And I pursued.” He dropped his hand. “I told you about my wife, for fuck’s sake. You think anyone knows about that? You think the guys down at the Underground know that? No. I put everything on the line, and you still said no. So don’t sit there and act like you chose me and that’s the full story.”
“I did choose you—and you took Bolton’s deal.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re going to hold that against me? Trying to get my brother’s fucking body back—”
“I’m not holding it against you.” I’d expected to be saved, to feel safe in his arms, not be yelled at and ripped to shreds. “But that’s what you chose. You broke my heart and tore me apart, and that set up the chain of events that have led us to this moment—”
“What’s led us here is you chose wrong,” he said coldly. “You chose to fix a marriage that’s been broken since you said I do. You chose to bury your head in the sand. You chose a shitty guarantee over a golden risk—and you chose wrong.”
I took a slow breath, my walls crumbling as he tore them down.
“I won’t be the second choice.”
My eyes dropped as I started to drown. I needed to fight for air, but my pain was so heavy that I’d rather sink to the bottom of the ocean until my lungs burst. I wished I could tell him all the things I’d felt but never said. The way he made my heart sing like birds in spring. The burns on my fingertips from touching his fire. The peace he brought to my frantic heart. But I couldn’t string the words together, not when Theo looked at me like…like he hated me. So I let the words die with me, tucked them into the sleeve of my heart to take to the grave. When he rejected me so coldly, I didn’t want to ask for anything, didn’t want to burden him with my problems when he didn’t even want to look at me. I felt the tears burn my eyes as I became suffocated by his hostility.