Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
Roman
How are you and the girls holding up?
Lexi
That was a hard right.
Roman
I know. Don’t evade the question.
Lexi
We’re okay. It’s just hard for them.
Roman
What about you?
Lexi
I’m managing.
Lexi is unaccustomed to asking for help, let alone accepting it. But it doesn’t mean I have to sit back and let her drown in the difficulty of it all. I know what it means to miss the people you love during the holidays.
Lexi
Callie has a hockey party. Talk later. Thanks for checking in, though.
Roman
I’m around if you need to talk.
Lexi
I work out, manage some paperwork, call my mom who’s on a cruise with one of her cousins for the holidays, and read some of the documentation Hollis sent me about the Hockey Academy. It’s an increasingly attractive retirement option. Early in the afternoon, I place an order for all of Peggy’s favorite things from our favorite Thai restaurant. I’m a glutton for punishment.
My phone chimes with new messages.
Hollis
It’s not too late to change your mind and come to Niagara.
There’s more than enough room for you at the table.
A picture of a smiling Peggy follows. She looks happy and beautiful and like she’s having a great time with Hollis’s family.
The invitation is enticing. But this is their first Christmas as a couple. I’ve spent more than enough holidays with Hollis’s family over the years. Every other Christmas, Peggy would visit her mom and I’d go to Niagara with Hollis. But they need the opportunity to create their own traditions. And I need to step back and give them the space to do that, even though it’s hard. We’ll celebrate when they return.
Roman
Thanks for the offer, but I’m good. I’ll see you two in a couple of days. Have a great time.
I slide my feet into a pair of boots, shrug into my winter jacket, pull on a toque, and head out to pick up my Thai. Light snow blankets the sidewalk. The streetlights are decorated with twinkling white lights and holly garland. Couples walk arm in arm, smiling and laughing. Businessmen rush down the street, laden with bags.
The familiar lightning bolt of loneliness strikes me. I’ve spent my whole adult life focused on Peggy and hockey, unwilling to put anyone else in front of her. I couldn’t let someone else into my heart when I believed my daughter needed it the most.
I open the door to the Thai restaurant. Usually I find the rich scents comforting, but today it hits differently. This has been our tradition since Peggy came to live with me a decade and a half ago. The holidays were too quiet when she was living with her mom. When it was my year with her, we ate takeout on Christmas Eve and opened our stockings before bed. I still have a ton of presents waiting for her when she and Hollis get back. I’m beginning to understand why Peggy keeps pushing me to date. Spending the holidays alone is pretty fucking shitty.
The bell over the door tinkles, and I glance back to find Connor Grace brushing snow off his shoulders. He’s polished and tailored, apart from the ball cap pulled low, the bill covering his face. I knew he lived somewhere around here, but I’m still surprised to see him. I assumed he’d be with family for the holidays. Or at the very least, his grandmother.
“Hey.”
He startles, but when he realizes it’s me, his shoulders come down from his ears. “Oh, hey, Roman. Picking up dinner for the fam?”
“Just for me,” I reply. “How about you?”
His eyebrows rise. “Uh, same. Where’s Hammer?”
“In Niagara with Hollis’s family.” I tuck my hands into my pockets.
“Ah.” He nods. “That must be a change.”
He’s a perceptive kid. “Yeah. It’s their first Christmas together. I want them to have time with Hollis’s family.”
“Makes sense.” He shakes the snow off his ball cap. “Can’t be easy, though.”
I shrug. “It’s an adjustment.” After this season, my entire life will be an adjustment. Dad life? She doesn’t need me like she used to. Hockey? I’ll be retired. I need to make some decisions on what’s next so I’m not completely untethered.
The door tinkles again. This time a woman wearing a burgundy knitted toque, complete with pompom and matching scarf that covers all but her eyes, joins us. She tilts her head when she sees us. For a moment I think we’ve found ourselves a Terror fan, but then she unravels the scarf.
“Dred?”
“Roman! Hey!” Her face lights up and then shifts to wary curiosity when she sees Connor. “And Grace. You’re an unlikely pair.”
“We’re not together,” Connor explains.
She makes a noise but doesn’t comment further. “Looks like I’m not the only one who loves Christmas Eve Thai takeout.”
The woman who runs the restaurant appears with three bags. “Sorry for the wait!”
We all murmur a variation of no problem, and Connor reaches for the bag with tamarind curry at the same time as Dred.