Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 336(@200wpm)___ 269(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 336(@200wpm)___ 269(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
He’s smiling when he reaches down and smacks the side of my ass. “Liar.” But he doesn’t press me. He sinks back down to the bed, tucking me against him. He calls for the bedroom lights to blink off.
In the dark womb of the room, there’s only the sound of our breathing. My longing for him dies to a simmer that’s less painful but no less potent. We’re back in the late-night sanctuary where everything is peaceful, even my racing thoughts.
“I want to kill so many people,” I admit to the darkness. “So many. But you wouldn’t understand.”
His hand comes to rest on my throat. “Tell me.”
We’re not joking anymore. But he’s shared so much with me that I feel like he’s earned my secrets.
“You don’t know what it’s like.” The words burn like acid in my throat. “You’re bigger and stronger than anyone. People don’t mess with you. Half of them look like they want to run away when you walk into a room. It’s not like that for me. Everyone shits on me. The creepy landlord, my boss, even you.” I’m clenching my fists. “And I just have to take it.” My teeth ache from clenching them, so I loosen my jaw and draw a shuddering breath. “So I made a list, and I imagine what it would be like to be strong.”
Jaeger and Kaiser aren’t at the top of the list. Not even close. At the top are the dirtbags who wrecked me, who took without giving back, who let me love them and then left like I didn’t matter. And the worst man of all is the one who took advantage of his position over me and destroyed my life and my peace to the point where I had to drop out of school.
I’m not ready to tell Jaeger about them, and he doesn’t press.
“I’m sorry, bunny.”
“For what?” I let out a bitter laugh. “That’s life. The strong crush the weak. Some people are predators. The rest of us are prey. All we can do is try to survive.”
He rubs my back. It’s soothing, but I know he bears a ring on his finger that marks him as a predator.
“I wasn’t always bigger than everyone,” he says. “On the streets, I was prey.”
I don’t have anything to say to that because he told me the barest details about his enslavement to the man called Maestro, and they were so horrible I can’t wrap my head around them.
“I didn’t want to live like that anymore. Neither did my brothers. And so we became Fraternitas.”
I understand that. If I’d lived through what he’s lived through, I’d do anything to become powerful, too. You become the predator, or you die as prey.
Like I said, in the end, we’re all just trying to survive.
I grab his hand and squeeze it. “I’m sorry, too.” In this midnight confessional, we are each other’s witnesses.
But absolution is something we can only give ourselves.
12
Elodie
I dream of touching myself but wake up whimpering, Jaeger stroking the tops of my thighs. My skin is coated with my dripping essence. “Jaeger, please.” I shudder, needing release. “Please let me. . .”
“Later.” He kisses my cheek. “Not yet.”
I groan but don’t make a move to touch myself when he pulls away.
“I have to go somewhere again today. If I don’t tie you up, will you be a good girl?”
I nod vigorously. Anything to escape another long day straining against the vibrator.
He narrows his eyes, but whatever he sees in me convinces him I’m telling the truth. “You’re being so good for me, bunny.” He nuzzles my cheek, and I turn my head away. The feel of his stubble against my skin is too much.
I don’t know what he’s planning, but he’s up to something, and I’m afraid to know. Whatever it is, it’s big.
He pulls away, and we go through our morning routine. He helps me dress in wide-leg jeans and a fitted white top.
It’s not until he’s set me on the couch with my ankle propped up that he tells me, “I invited your friends to visit.”
“Friends? What friends?”
He leans down to light the cluster of candles on the coffee table and straightens. “The girls from Inferno.”
“Honey and Daria? You invited them? You’re letting them come here?”
“It’s your home, too.”
I press my lips together. Sure, I’m living here, but it’s not really my place.
“They’ll be here soon. I ordered food. The doorman will let them in.”
I clutch a cashmere throw to my chest, watching him move around the room, making the place as cozy as the rom-com set of my dreams.
He answers the door for the food delivery and kisses me before he leaves. “Remember, no touching. Or there’ll be consequences.”
My friends arrive in time for a late brunch. We’ve never hung out outside of work like this, so I’m nervous about how it will go. At least Jaeger’s penthouse will be a nicer place to hang out than my old apartment.